[sung]
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
Once, I 'ad an 'usband
You know the sorta chap
I met 'im at a dance
And how he came on with the chat

[spoken]
[MR JOHNSTONE]
Are ya dancin'? I think you're a bleedin' cracker!

[sung]
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
He said me eyes were deep blue pools
Me skin as soft as snow

[spoken]
[MR JOHNSTONE]
Lovely!

[sung]
[MRS JOHNSTONE]
He told me I was sexier than Marilyn Monroe
And we went dancin'
We went dancin'
Then, of course, I found that I was six weeks overdue