[Intro: Kai Bowman]
I know I've been a mean angry boy all this album
But I wanna make it up ya know
To the WHOPEE fans
So here it is
A song I like to call HELP ME

[Verse 1: Kai Bowman]
I'm a cool guy, at least I think I am
When it's time to say goodbye, I hope someone gives a damn
If I get shot in a driveby, I hope I can still eat jam
Cause I like eating jam, cause it's really really tasty

[Chorus: Kai Bowman]
Help me, help me
Oh will somebody help me
Help me, help me
Please somebody help me

[Verse 2: Kai Bowman]
My name is Kai, I eat pie
I really really wanna die, I guess you're asking why
It's cause I cannot tie, so i have to get my mum
To tie my tie, when I go to school

[Chorus: Kai Bowman]
Help me, help me
Oh will somebody help me
Help me, help me
Please somebody help me

[Verse 2: Kai Bowman]
This is the sad slash happy song, The Great Wall Of China is really long
I live in Hong Kong, next door to King Kong
I feel like I don't belong, in the pond
Because I'm not a fish, I'm a human

[Chorus: Kai Bowman]
Help me, help me
Oh will somebody help me
Help me, help me
Please somebody help me