[Verse 1]
Welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn.
Linkara's gonna teach you all a lesson you won't learn.
Brodsky, you're not the smartest.
Liefeld, you're not an artist.
Anyone who's had a bad comic published, it could be your turn!

[Chorus 1]
Linkara!
He is a man! *PUNCH!* Wears a purdy hat.
Linkara!
He has a magic gun; where'd he purchase that?
Linkara!
Coins, robots, Amazons and trucks.
Linkara!
THIS COMIC SUCKS!
Linkara!

[Verse 2]
Linkara sits down nonetheless, and forces himself through it;
A poorly-written, ugly mess, but someone's gotta do it.
And it's right about time he did;
They made Watchmen without the slimy squid!
And he'll have you know that that's pretty low,
But not quite like the standards of the '90s Kid.
Setting ablaze crossovers, one-shots and tie-ins,
Linkara stands, in reality-defiance,
Atop the Fourth Wall, lookin' down on us all;
"Of course! Don't you know anything about science?"
There would be better books on this show,
But Quesada sold them to Mephisto,
And now there's nothing left to do
But share the scrapings at the bottom of the barrel with you!
[Chorus 2]
Linkara!
He is a man! *PUNCH!* What's that on his arm?
Linkara!
Can't seem to fix the Continuity Alarm,
Linkara!
Rock 'n roll, Insano, some feller in a tux,
Linkara!
THIS COMIC SUCKS!
LINKARA!