[Verse 1]
Welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where Yuletide candles burn
Linkara's gonna give you all a present you've not earned
Doug Moench, he's not the brightest
Frank Miller, you're off the Nice List
If you're a comic writer who misuses a license, your gift will be returned!

[Verse 2]
Digging through the shelves, for the kind of comic books
That would turn Santa's elves into common crooks
He reads them and he weeps, while down the chimney creeps
Bill Jemas with a Marville Trade to watch him when he sleeps!

[Chorus]
Linkara!
He builds a snowman! *PUNCH!* Now it has a hole!
Linkara!
Eight maids-a-milking and a Youngblood Troll
Linkara!
Only one Dickens homage away from going chestnuts!
Linkara!
This Christmas comic sucks!