(He's the fastest thing alive!)

Have you ever seen a way cute penguin
Move much faster than a J-2 engine?
Penta spends his pent-up energy
On a quest, not for vengeance against an enemy
But for medicine to give his wife or love interest
Or, I don't know, I think she's some type of princess
She's sick or been poisoned as part of a coup
Not sure, but as an 80's game plot, it'll do

So Welcome to the South Pole, it's quite cold
And there's a risk of falling into an ice hole
Or running into a seal that's colored maroon
Or a bouncing, evil, dark balloon?
You'll see things that'll shake you to your soul
And it's not unlikely that you'll never make it to the goal
'Cause it's oh so terribly dangerous and heinous
That is, unless your name is the same as the famous

Penta!
(He's the fastest, fastest, fastest, fastest)
Back in the game to slide on his ass is Penta!
(He's the fastest, fastest, fastest, fastest)
The penguin whom nothing can ever get past is Penta!
(He's the fastest, fastest, fastest, fastest)
Soon to be remembered by the lot of you bastards, Penta!
(He's the fastest thing alive!)
If you're a komodo dragon in the path saying, "Don't pass!"
Expect a certain penguin to give you a cold bath
And you can bet Penta's motivation is stacked high
When there's the promise of a ménage-a-trois with that guy!
You may think it's ridiculous
But even pals around with St. Nicholas
Never mind that they live on opposite poles of the planet
They both have crazy-fast modes of transit
(Penta!)

Check him, see him in the casino gamblin'
Stuffing slot machines to the brim with salmon
When he's not slippin' across the the ice with a wide grin
Grabbing fish out of the air, trying not to slide in
And once Penta saves the chick he holds dear
She's bound to love him, but not as much as he loves beer
And things will get rocky and bad, you know why?
Because he's a freaky-ass penguin with a fetish for moai!

Penta!
(He's the fastest, fastest, fastest, fastest)
Back in the game to slide on his ass is Penta!
(He's the fastest, fastest, fastest, fastest)
The penguin whom nothing can ever get past is Penta!
(He's the fastest, fastest, fastest, fastest)
Soon to be remembered by the lot of you bastards, Penta!
(He's the fastest thing alive!)
Penta!
(He's the fastest, fastest, fastest, fastest)
Back in the game to slide on his ass is Penta!
(He's the fastest, fastest, fastest, fastest)
The penguin whom nothing can ever get past is Penta!
(He's the fastest, fastest, fastest, fastest)
Soon to be remembered by the lot of you bastards, Penta!
(He's the fastest thing alive!)