Saw a man in a bar with his hair like a lady
Bloody thorns 'round his ears like he was a crazy
He had holes in his hands and a cross for a spine
Crushed a berry in his perrier and called it wine

He said, "there's great sadness in life, but don't sit there and blub:
Here's some tickets for your friends to the jesus stag night club!"

I can't remember where i was last night
Think i was hanging naked off a church spire
Tied by my ankles to a weathervane
Felt like i was jesus on fire
Cuffed to the bumper of a big truck
I begged my dad (?) to take me to a strip bar
Drank kerosene slammers through my eyeballs
Drove myself home in a stolen car

Turn a bird upside down and it lies in your fingers like a dead man
When you throw it in the air it's resurrected from your hand
We went to a motel, he showed me his bible
I said, "tell me the truth," while he looked me in the eyeball

He said, "there's great happiness in life but don't just sit there in love:
Here's some tickets for your friends to the jesus stag night club!"

I can't remember where i was last night
Think i was getting on a night bus
Lyin' on the laps of my good friends
Judas priest and lazarus
I'm getting married in the big bad morning
But it feels like i'm giving birth
I feel so happy i could scream
"this is my last few seconds on earth"
Saw a man in the street lying on the floor beaten up
He had a fish finger sandwich and a yellow m coffee cup
I bent down drunk and tried to pick him up
But when i turned around i could see…it was jesus…

I can't remember where i was last night
Think i was hanging on a church spire
Tied by my ankles to a weathervane
Felt like i was jesus on fire
Cuffed to the bumper of a big truck
I begged my dad to take me to a strip bar
Drank kerosene slammers through my eyeballs
Drove myself home in a stolen car

I can't remember where i was last night
Think i was getting on a night bus
Lyin' on the laps of my good friends
Judas priest and lazarus
I'm getting married in the big bad morning
But it feels like i'm giving birth
I feel so happy i could scream
"this is my last few seconds on earth!"