[WAMMAWINK, spoken]
Jeffica

[HORSE, spoken]
Becky Apples

[WAMMAWINK & HORSE, spoken]
Ugh

[WAMMAWINK, spoken]
Jeffica

[HORSE, spoken]
I bet Becky's got perfect hair

[WAMMAWINK, spoken]
Jeffica... Jeffica’s got stupid, stupid hooves!

[HORSE, spoken]
I'm never gonna eat another apple ever again!

[WAMMAWINK, spoken]
Ooh, it really bunches my wool to think how badly she hurt you!
Baby girl, tell me your story

[WAMMAWINK, HORSE & BOTH]
I left my Rider so that I could raise an army
(So that you could raise an army)
And C-Doug popped up and he said something alarming
(Ooh, what did he say?)
He told me that my best friend's ridden (No!)
Another horse so pretty (No way!)
And her name is Becky Applеs, because
Ugh, of course it is
Bеcky Apples, Becky Apples!
What a gorgeous fancy schmuck
Becky, how you like them apples?
’Cause I think your apples suck!
Becky Apples, Becky Apples!

Guess what, I knew Rider first!
And while technically I don't know Becky
I know she's the worst!

[WAMMAWINK, spoken]
Ugh! She is so the worst, Horse

[HORSE, spoken]
Right? Ugh

[WAMMAWINK, spoken]
It's unbelievable!

[HORSE, spoken]
Stupid Becky

[WAMMAWINK, spoken]
But can I tell you about someone
Who's... kind of a total Becky in my life?
[HORSE, spoken]
Uh, okay, I gue- uh, I mean
I'm kinda not done being mad
About Becky Apples

[WAMMAWINK, HORSE & BOTH]
Well, I was flirtin', flirtin' with a slick Merdude
(Yeah, this is not the same situation)
He was the finest carny that I’ve ever pursued
(There’s more than one?)
He played me like a ukulele
(He did)
I don't want no drama, baby
(Too late)
But I flipped when I found out his girlfriend was a Llama Lady

Argh, that Jeffica, that Jeffica’s got stupid pretty legs!
And I bet that Sunfish Merguy would let her adopt his eggs!
Jeffica! Jeffica! Jeffica! Jeffica!
Ugh, even her wool is perkier
Maybe Jeffica's flirty boyfriend is the one who's the actual jerk here...

[WAMMAWINK, spoken]
Ooh! Jeffica...
Making me feel bad about projecting my own insecurities
And displacing blame on her when she really did nothing wrong?
Ugh, she's the worst
[HORSE clears her throat]

[WAMMAWINK, spoken]
Oh right, you’re sad

[WAMMAWINK, HORSE & BOTH]
I feel your pain, girl
I'm your vindicator
And we don't know
Jeffica, Becky
We just know, we hate her
This isn't okay, and this isn't fine

[WAMMAWINK, spoken]
Let it out, baby girl

[HORSE]
It's just I thought Rider would always be mine...