I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
Nothing special about me mother fucka
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
When I go to the clubs I wait in line mother fucka
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
I got 600 dollars in the bank mother fucka
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
And my sexual performances are average
I work in customer service for a phone company
I make 12 bucks an hour but that's all I need
I live in a small apartment on a quit street
I don't go out too much I like to watch TV
I can't afford a car I use public transportation
I don't mind I read until I reach my destination
Sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a book
The amount of money I save this shit is off the hook
And I'm not very good with the women
I'm a pretty shy person and I'm average looking
Last time I had sex it was 2003
And I'm ashamed to admit it but it wasn't free
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
I get nervous in social situations mother fucka
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
I get constipated once a month mother fucka
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
And I make really good spaghetti sauce mother fucka
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
And cotton candy freaks me out
I'm the "Pauly Shore" of everyday life
Easily forgettable and I'm not very liked
I have an "According to Jim" personality
I'm as entertaining as a fucking STD
And if you wanna mess with me, yeah you probably can
Cause I'm not confident and I'm weak for a man
I'll just roll up in a ball while you kick me in the back
Yeah, honestly I probably won't fight back
If you rarely get laid put your hands up
If you're not well paid put your hands up
If you got a pet cat put your hands up
And if you got a bad back put you hands up
"I hurt my back 2 summers ago and ever since then it's just not the same... You know it... it gets pretty sore."
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
My parents are really nice people mother fucka
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
And I'm somewhat afraid of heights mther fucka
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
I like the show Gilmore Girls mother fucka
I'm just a regular everyday normal guy
And pretty good at making paper planes, oh