Abraham Lincoln, we get it you're tall
You don't need the hat too
Or maybe you do

Mother Teresa, two words: B.O
She was nice I'll give her that
But she didn't smell like a rose
She did a lot of good in the world
But guess who...
Smelled like poo

Nobody's perfect
No one at all
Nobody's perfect
There's always a fault
Don't go thinking you're any better
There's always something wrong

George Washington Carver
Changed the world with his nuts
He sat on a few and invented peanut butter with his butt
B.F.D

Who cares about the peanut?
Peanut's like the penny of snack foods
And well well well, look who's on the penny
I'm surprised they're tall enough
(You know who)

Gandhi, do you ever wash
That white sheet that you wear?
Do you have a last name
Or is it just like Cher?
You hunger-striked for peace
When the truth was you hated your thighs
Enough with the lies
And it's time to wash that sheet

Nobody's perfect
No one at all
Nobody's perfect
There's always a fault
Don't go thinking you're any better
There's always something wrong

Nobody's perfect
I'm not perfect
I'm way too pretty first of all
I eat and eat like a pig—can not gain a pound
The doctor's worried about that by the way
My IQ is like four million
Which is ... it can be a burden, actually
You wouldn't understand

I like to think of myself as very Jesus-y
I can say that because I don't think...
He was the savior, anything
I just, I'm into peace

Plus I wear sandals
You know, he wore sandals
So there's that

But mostly
We have the same hair