Here I go again with my big mouth
Spouting off like I got something going
I wrote a show and it's playing tonight?
I'm so full of shit man, what was I thinking?

I got to write a show
And how am I gonna do a show
When I don't even have a show
To wri-e-ite

I never wrote a show
But if I ever wrote a show
I bet that all of them would know
And think and fight

You know what? Fuck them

I could write a show ...
I could write a show ...
I'll just ... I'll just do it
I'll write a show

All it takes is elbow grease
And I could write a show
I'll write a show tonight
I hope I do it right

I could take this mixed up world
And put it in a show
I'll write a show alright
And have it by tonight

All I need is a theater space
And a bag of weed
And a star...
A star!
Great, Good Job, Sarah
I'm writing a whole show for tonight
And I don't even have a star
Who's going to be my star?

She's gotta be pretty
And she's gotta be smart
She's gotta be funny
And she's gotta be hot

She's got to have a perfect smile
Just like me
I just need a star
But who could it be?

(Julia Roberts?)
Mmm. Nah
(Nicole Kidman?)
Are you kidding man?
(Sandra Bullock?)
Sandra Boo-luck (in a mocking voice)

She's gotta be the kind of girl
Who just blows your mind
She ought to be better
Than those three twats combined
She's got to have the thing
That you just can't def-i-yee-ine. Woo!

(whisper)
Me. It's me
You're beautiful
No. Not like this
Alright, I'll do it

I got what it takes
Got what it needs
Got what a show needs

I outshow 'em all
Little old me
I'm what the world needs

Hear the train coming
It's coming for me
I'm going to Star Town

Hear the train coming
It's coming for me
I'm going to be star now