I hate to say it, Santa, but you're acting like a DICK!
You should give presents to everyone that's good, and not just to your personal clique
If you bring me a toy to open Christmas morning
I'll let you be my boyfriend, all bearded fat and horny
Oh yea
Oh yea

What does Jesus have to do with you?
You've got as much to do with Jesus as you do with Scooby-Doo
What do you have to do with Jesus?
You have as much to do with him as you do your mother's penis
Oh yea

Though I don't think he's the son of God
I think he was still a nice boy
If you ask yourself "What would Jesus do?"
He'd say give the Jew girl toys, give the Jew girl toys
Give the Jew girl toys

Don't be a douche, what would Jesus do?
He'd say give the Jew girl toys

"Claus"?
Is that German?
Santa Klaus...
Santa KLAUS!"

You made a list and I checked it twice
And there is nobody named Silverman, or Mouskawitz or Weis
You have a list, well Schindler did to
Liam Neison played him, Tim Allen played you

Give the Jew girl to-oy-oy-oy-oys
Don't be a douche, what would Jesus do?
Give the Jew girl toys