We're the Beta Band and we're nice and clean
We're always polite and hardly ever mean
Times have changed, we used to be smelly
We lived in a squat 'til a punk nicked our telly

Since we've been signed we eat real good
We always wash our hands and chew our food
Quashis rotis are our favorite dish
Served spicy with chicken or fish

In the world of fashion there's two shining lights
Nancy and Caroline they helped us alright
And Gordon Anderson played a big part
Just when the Beta Band was about to start

It all started in London town
When we gave our demo to Phil Brown
Then we met Miles at Parlophone
And let him hear dogs got a bone

He said go to Falkner and put it on wax
So the next week was spent cutting four tracks
Now a manager was needed to make us complete
Miles knew a Wigner we should meet

[Incomprehensible]

His name was Dave with the broken specs
A quiet manner and enough respect
We met at Nachos and cleaned the plate
A meal like that we'd never ate

Then we met Brian and the Microdot crew
Martin, Matt and John Plat too
Adrenalin Village was the place to be
We had no money so they got us in free

The first thing Dave did as boss
Was make us play Water Rats in Kings Cross
We played five songs got credit for four
Went down well so we decided to tour

Next up was Henry and Nich
Making the show go without a hitch
Up and down the country and side to side
With big yin driving it's a bumpy ride

Miles gave us an album deal
We said yes and went for a meal
Drinking champagne at EMI
The irony almost made us cry