[Intro]
"July 13, 1985." This next—this one's better, um. It's more up to date as well, although— Um, this next song is, in case anybody doesn't know about the kind of music I'm playing you this evening, this is the traditional music of uh, Hastings, East Sussex. It's called gangsta folk. And uh, and uh, it's, you know, it's uh, it's— Well you know if the word "movement," say, could be, if that word meant only one person does it, then it'd be a movement. 

And uh, this next song, this next song is called "Talkin' Return of the Great Gangsta Folk Scare Blues." Talking blues, um, and it pretty much tells the story of my life in music, which I know, you know you wanna hear. And uh, but I'm gonna play the introduction very fast because I'm able to. And then when I get to the actual song I'm gonna slow it right down because it'd be stupid. I'm really just showing off at the beginning. And uh, and it's a talking blues song, so obviously you know the words are essential. If I was "blah blah blah blah", that wouldn't be good, that would be silly. So um, "Talkin' Return of the Great Gangsta Folk Scare Blues" on the classic waxing, Dynablob One. Um, and here it is, dead fast. 

[Verse 1]
Well I was born in 1965
That was a damn good time to be alive
Except that by the age of ten
Music had turned crap again
Now people wanna bring back the 70's
I say, "No, give the bad music of today a chance" (Alright)

[Verse 2]
Then punk came round, that was pretty scary
It was like a contemporary Peter, Paul and Mary
Before the 80's got too far
It was time for me to pick up my guitar
Picked it up
Looked good!

[Verse 3]
And all my friends turned up their noses
At Freewheelin' and For The Roses
Preferring image over substance
A hairstyle for a musical influence
All those Ultravox records, all those Flock of Seagulls records
They're gathering dust
But I'm still listening to Live Rust
And if the 90's is the 60's turned upside down
Then the 80's must have been the 60's the right way up
But with half the top cut off
Did you catch that?
Think about it now
[Verse 4]
And in the town where I did live
There was no one I could do hoot night with
So I sat alone with my six strings
And I learned how to play and sing
Woody Guthrie's guitar killed fascists and crime
But in the mean streets of Hastings, East Sussex
My guitar killed time

[Verse 5]
And I got gigs opening for bands
And things would get sorta outta hand
Big men would yell out their derision
So I developed humor as a defense mechanism
How many folksingers does it take to change a light bulb?
You don't know it?
The answer
The answer is blowin' in the wind

[Verse 6]
And after University I moved to the big old smoky city
Got a gig opening for a friend of mine
Happened to be playing my ace
In the right place at the right time
So I gave up my PhD
I became a dustbowl folkie
That's Phil Ochs, folks, not Phil Oakey
Thank you very much for laughing at that, right there
He was the guy in the Human League, he had a very silly haircut
He never played at the Freight and Salvage, I know that's a fact
[Verse 7]
Then I learned the Folksinger's Prayer:
Our Father
Who art on Folkways
Ramblin' Jack be thy name
Thy Folk City come
Thy will be done
On CD and CD-ROM as it was on vinyl and eight-track cartridge
Give us this day our daily gig
And forgive us our protest
As we forgive those who protest against us
And lead us not into commercialism
But deliver us from playing Unplugged
For John Prine is the kingdom
The power of the story
Forever be clever
A minor

[Verse 8]
So hey everybody, the time is near
The folk revival is coming here
But it's a tough thing to revive today
'Cause it never goes away
And that's 'cause it's a good thing
So it's time to come and claim your share
It's time to re-iron your hair
And in five years time you'll look back and say "I was there
The Freight and Salvage, that was cool, John Wesley Harding"
The return of the great gangsta folk scare
Alright, thank you!
[Outro]
Thank you! Hold on a second, I have to get my other guitar. Hold on. 

Thank you. Great. I declare this guitar in tune. Well, I'm really having a good time. Thanks for coming. I was just buying a little time there. But it's true, I am.