[Intro]
So we played in Ben Lomond last night. It's uh, basically there'd been an armed robbery there that day. And when we arrived there were like, no people and thirty-five police cars all swarming around. And uh, my friend Jim suggested that it had been one of the largest bill thefts in the history of northern California. And nobody, there wouldn't be any excellent bear statues for a long while. But in fact it turned out it was an armed robbery and when we got out of the gig they'd found the guy. They were swarming around his house. 

Um, in the meanwhile what had happened was we'd arrived at the gig, and I had gotten out my little, you know, my little yuppie cell phone. And uh, Ellis Paul had gotten out his little yuppie cell phone. And there was another guy there. And there were a lot of bikers in the bar where we were gonna play. They weren't likely to spend eleven dollars on the ticket, I felt at a later date. So I felt we were quite safe until one of the women who was in a—Unbelievably, there are gigs in America where they serve alcohol, and this was one of them. This isn't one of them. I mean there are—I don't know if you know, but you know, and uh—I just thought I'd mention it. And one of the women had been partaking, and she shouted at me at the top of her voice, "Look at those pansies with their cell phones!"

At which point six bikers—and I felt like Pee Wee Herman at this point—six, six bikers—second time I've said "Pee Wee" during this set, just thought I'd mention it— At which point six bikers turned around at me. I looked around at them, smiled, and continued talking, and she said— And I thought the whole thing would die there until she uttered the immortal words, "He didn't deny it. He must be a pansy!" At which point I said to my friend on the phone, "I'm just about to get my ass kicked now, uh—"

Anyway, this song is a request, which is why I'm playing it. 

[Verse 1]
Midweek and we reached Scarlet Town
I was almost dying of thirst
We parked the car in some old schoolyard
The windscreen was caked in dirt
There was no water in the engine left
No tread upon the tyres
The electrics were broke 'cause you went mad
You ripped out all the wires

[Verse 2]
Across the road, a small cafe
In this state of disrepair
You went for papers and a shave
So I saved you a chair
We knew it wasn't the journey's end
That your dream was incomplete
But I just could not stand any more
I was dead upon my feet
I was dead upon my feet
[Chorus]
There's nothing there in the market square
But the ghost of the Scarlet Town Crier
And I was dead upon my feet
Sing the red rose and the briar
Sing the red rose and the briar

[Verse 3]
The waitress, she told me her whole life story
She'd always meant to up and go
She wiped her cup on her red pinafore
And I waited for you to show
And I told her just a little of you
But I left the picture incomplete
You still weren't there to paint it in person
So I stepped out on the street

[Verse 4]
The newsagent grinned, he said, yes, you'd been in
You bought a local paper and a pair of shades
The washroom attendant said that you'd freshened up
That you'd left but you had not paid
And I couldn't figure out where you were
So I went back just to look near the car
There was nothing there where it should have been
Just oil on dirt and tar
Just oil on dirt and tar
[Chorus]
Still nothing there in the market square
But the ghost of the Scarlet Town Crier
There was nothing there where it should have been
Sing the red rose and the briar
Sing the red rose and the briar

[Verse 5]
I saw it parked way down the street
In a garage off on the right
And a man said, "Well, get your hands off, son
I just traded that thing for a motorbike"
There was nothing left of mine inside
Not even that broken radio
And I couldn't figure out where that left me
So I went back to look for Rose

[Verse 6]
The lunchtime Rouge, Cafe Rouge, was a lunchtime rush
Of regulars, they were yelling for food
The service in there left a lot to be desired
All them regulars were getting rude
I saw an apron thrown over a chair
A note said, "Hey John, we're gone, we're gone"
And I just smiled 'cause I loved you both
So I put the apron on
I put the apron on
[Chorus]
Still nothing there in the market square
But the ghost of the Scarlet Town Crier
And I just put that apron on
Sing the red rose and the briar
Sing the red rose and the briar
Sing the red rose and the briar
Sing the red rose and the briar

[Outro]
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Robert Lloyd on the mandolin. 
Thank you very much. 
Don't hold it so high. 
We practically live together; it's quite forgivable.