[Intro: Sheryl Crow]
Hit tih
This ain't LA
And this ain't L, and it ain't A, either
And it ain't no Costco
This is a bar that faces a giant car wash

[Verse 1: Sheryl Crow]
"All I wanna do is die," says the man next to me
And I wonder if he's ever had a life
But I'm sure he's nothing, he says his name is Bill or Billy
But I'm sure his name is Billiam
Otherwise his name is plain ugly to me
And I wonder if he's ever had a beer, I like a good beer
I like drinking bottles of beer early in the morning on Tuesday
But I won't drink Bud Light, I only like good beer
But back to the man next to me, Billy or Mac or whatever
He says his face is a giant car wash
All I wanna do is doo-doo in his car-wash face at noon on Tuesday
But not too early in the morning
Cause I like a good beer buzz before lunch break

[Chorus 1: Sheryl Crow]
All I wanna do is have some beer
I got a feeling (Woo-hoo)
All I waw I llA is have some sun
Until the fun comes up over Santa
[Verse 2: Sheryl Crow]
I got a good beer buzz eeeaaaa
And Billy likes watching me spit on the floor
Billy takes the Moon, then he takes the Sun
Then he takes everything that seems like fun
Down to his oversized fingers before cursing them out
He's w*tching the b*ttles of B*d as they sp** on the f****
Out of nowhere, Shrek enters the bar
Dang, he thicc
The bartender looks up his skirt (What?) Nothing

[Chorus 2: Sheryl Crow]
(Hey) Dude, wanna have some fun? (Yeah!)
I got a fee (Oh)
All llA wannaw oo hahaha SuS nun
I got a feeling I'm not fun
All I wanna do is have (Some) fun
Until Monika comes up the boulevard (Ahh)

[Verse 3: Sheryl Crow]
People of the world are washing their cars on Billy's face
Clean and dirty Buicksons and Daccs
Scrub scrub scrubbing as best they can in skirts and suits and 'hose and scrubs
And boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats
Billy likes to lay down on the floor next to the bar
He says nothing
Billy
Bud
Buddy
[Chorus 3: Sheryl Crow]
Beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer
Beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer
Drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink
Drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink drink (Drink)

[Outro: Sheryl Crow]
I gotta drink some beer
And I wonder if I've ever had a drinking buddy before Billy
Cause Billy and me, we are nothing like Billy and Mandy
Cause all they wanna do is have fun
But all I wanna do is drink a good beer bottle
And have a little beer buzz early Tuesday morning
And Billy the car-wash-face man died earlier next to me out of nowhere
(Ma'am, this is a Wendy's)