[LINDA, spoken]
How much longer do we have to stay out here?

[PETER, spoken]
All the reporters will probably leave by dark
I guess it would look kind of funny if we
Denied the marriage now, wouldn't it?

[LINDA, spoken]
I don't know what to do

[PETER, spoken]
I don't eyether

[LINDA, spoken]
The word is eether

[PETER, spoken]
Alright, the word is eether
No use squabbling
That will get nyther of us anyplace

[LINDA, spoken]
The word is neether

[PETER]
Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat
'Cause you like this and the other
While I go for this and that
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh, I don't know where I'm at
It's plain to see we two will never make one
Something must be done
You say eether and I say eyether
You say neether, I say nyther
Eether, eyether, neether, nyther
Let's call the whole thing off

You like potato and I like po-tah-to
You like tomato and I like to-mah-to
Potato, po-tah-to, tomato, to-mah-to
Oh, let's call the whole thing off

But oh, if we call the whole thing off
Then we must part
And oh, if we ever part
Then that might break my heart

So, if you like pajamas and I like pa-jah-mas
I'll wear pajamas and give up pa-jah-mas
For we know we
Need each other, so we
Better call the calling off off
Oh, let's call the whole thing off!

[LINDA]
You say laughter and I say lawfter
You say after and I say awfter
Laughter, lawfter, after, awfter
Let's call the whole thing off
You like Havana and I like Ha-vahn-ah
You eat banana and I eat ba-nahn-ah
Havana, Ha-vahn-ah, banana, ba-nahn-ah
Let's call the whole thing off

But oh, if we call the whole thing off
Then we must part
And oh, if we ever part
Then that might break my heart

So, if you like oysters and I like ersters
I'll take oysters and give up ersters
For we know we
Need each other, so we
Better call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off!

[Dance.]