When I was young I did questionable things
My parents and teachers though me quite insane
My priest kneeled me down and asked me to repent
I said fucker get back: I ain't even half bent
They junkyard's my playground, I laugh as fools go to church
My parents threw me out 'cause I was the devil's work
They singled me out like they once did to Christ
I said "If religion's so great why does it come with a price?"

They sent me to hell C.O.D
They sent me to hell cash on delivery
They sent me to hell C.O.D
Into the devil's arms: he was waiting for me

Now I'm an adult it's a new different game
You'll die fast without power or fame
I go in a bar, all the heads turn and look
The regular boys say I came out of a book
The jocks and the rednecks, they just don't understand
Why I won't pay the price to be in the promised land
The mothers they don't want their children near me
So they'll never copy the behavior they see

They sent me to hell C.O.D
They sent me to hell cash on delivery
They sent me to hell C.O.D
Into the devil's arms: he was waiting for me

Now i'm down there looking up Kathy's skirt
Trying to grab some nookie but my fingers get burnt
I run in circles looking for a way out
The devil laughs and turns me into a trout
I look in the mirror and to my surprise
On Tom's forehead is stamped my ultimate demise
They got me wrapped up in yesterday's news
I looked down and read how I killed all the Jews

They sent me to hell C.O.D
They sent me to hell cash on delivery
They sent me to hell C.O.D
Into the devil's arms: he was waiting for me