I've never felt like this before, my head is in a whirl
I met my favourite girl today
There's so much to tell you, I don't know where to start
But this is what my heart must say

I'm just a simple Northern boy
I'm sure you understand
Love makes me shy and that is why
I brought along me own brass band

They're free, it's just a hobby
That's what all the noise was in the lobby
So when we cuddle close tonight
I'll snuggle up and hold your hand

Just you and me and thirty-three
Big buggers from a big brass band

And when it's dark, we'll light the lamps
And draw the sofa near the fire
A cosy spot, oh, I forgot
There'll probably be a heavenly choir [Aah-aah]

That's fine, they don't mind standing
They'll be quite happy on the bathroom landing
They're singing of my love for you
They're singing of my deep desire [Aah-aah]
If I'm stood up, I'll have a coup-le
Of women from the heavenly choir

Let's turn out the light, let me hold you tight
Let's kiss and watch the fire go low
We won't be swept away, 'cause halfway through I'll play
A very loud piano solo

Oh, if you marry me, my darling (and I know I don't deserve such luck)
We won't all fit in one Rolls-Royce, I'll have to hire a three-ton truck
The choir can do the cooking
We'll make the honeymoon a party booking

In the bridal suite that evening, while I play the Bechstein grand
I'll sit with you beneath the covers
I must be up the pole!
Probably the whole brass band