[Verse 1]
Crabs, scabies, the glamour, the fashion
Life on the road is pretty fuckin' cool to me
Farts, feet, the romance, the passion
Life on the road is pretty fuckin' cool to me

[Chorus]
Too many people bitch and whine
About being on the road too much of the time
Yeah, being on tour does take its toll
But it's way better than sitting at home

[Interlude]
Alright now, it's a flat tire

[Verse 2]
Alkies, addicts, the vomit, the rat piss
Life on the road is pretty fuckin' cool to me
So squat it and thrust it 'cause you are in Russia
Life on the road is pretty fuckin' cool to me

[Chorus]
Bring it on right now about getting no sleep
On the dirty floor of the broken van
Yeah, life on the road is pretty fuckin' cool
As a matter of fact, it's very very cool
Yeah, life on the road is pretty fuckin' cool to me