[Round 1: Shaggy]
For ten years, Matthew Lillard, he's been off the grid
His career disappeared, much like his eyebrows did
Shaggy versus Shaggy, but you really don't want it
Mine is different, 'cause I got a Grammy with that name on it
I'm here to break it to you, Matt, you're never coming back
You're only famous in the '90s: you're a human fanny pack
I'm here to make you hot, your career been tragic
And sadly, you're being served by Mr. Boombastic

[Round 1: Matthew Lillard]
Good joke about my eyebrows, one thing, though
You look like Lenny Kravitz if he let himself go
Oh, the great Shaggy, I'm the one who's ugly?
I date Christina Hendricks on TV, so that's funny
The one-hit wonder, mediocre entertainer
They play your song between "The Chicken Dance" and "Macarena"
You talk about my face, like you some kind of beauty
How's your name Shaggy when you look like Scooby?

[Round 2: Shaggy]
"One-hit wonder", I went ten times platinum
You're in the first Scream movie, then what the hell happened?
You weren't in Scream 2, though, they didn't even ask
You could scare the whole cast without even wearing a mask
Oh, sorry, that's a spoiler, he was a killer in Scream
Then Hollywood was a killer of all of Matthew's dreams
I look like Lenny Kravitz? You shouldn't even speak
You look like Ryan Phillippe, if he was a meth-head freak
[Round 2: Matthew Lillard]
When I take home the trophy, you'll consider retirin'
You made a song called "Target", you're in luck, they're hirin'
Put an album with Sting called 44/876
That's a very catchy name, I'm sure it will stick
I'm still on TV, your career is unraveled
When you performed at the Grammys, I was scared I'd time-traveled
Stick with reggae, 'cause ya can't hit the note
You sound like Kermit, with a frog in his throat

[Round 3: Shaggy]
Consider this battle Matthew's life preserver
You used to be a heartthrob, now you just a heart murmur
When Matt was in his teens, his movies was hot
She's All That, but now you're certainly not
I'm famous around the world, the spotlight's done
You're in Twin Peaks, your career just had one
So thanks for tonight, it was hardly a fight
You played Shaggy for two hours, I'm Shaggy for life!

[Round 3: Matthew Lillard]
You're from Jamaica, but you lost the foundation
You're as reggae as white girls with braids on vacation
Ruined music, now whatchu comin' back for?
You got a song called "Go Fuck Yourself," I couldn't agree more
And I know you brag about it, but it's just so dumb
Bob Marley never won a Grammy, but you got one?
Tomorrow, when you speak about this battle publicly
They'll ask you who won and you'll say, "It wasn't me!"