The three stood listening to a fresh access
Of wind that caught against the house a moment,
Gulped snow, and then blew free againââthe Coles
Dressed, but dishevelled from some hours of sleep,
Meserve belittled in the great skin coat he wore.
Meserve was first to speak. He pointed backward
Over his shoulder with his pipe-stem, saying,
âYou can just see it glancing off the roof
Making a great scroll upward toward the sky,
Long enough for recording all our names on.ââ
I think Iâll just call up my wife and tell her
Iâm hereââso farââand starting on again.
Iâll call her softly so that if sheâs wise
And gone to sleep, she neednât wake to answer.â
Three times he barely stirred the bell, then listened.
âWhy, Lett, still up? Lett, Iâm at Coleâs. Iâm late.
I called you up to say Good-night from here
Before I went to say Good-morning there.ââ
I thought I would.ââI know, but, LettââI knowââ
I could, but whatâs the sense? The rest wonât be
So bad.ââGive me an hour for it.ââHo, ho,
Three hours to here! But that was all up hill;
The rest is down.ââWhy no, no, not a wallow:
They kept their heads and took their time to it
Like darlings, both of them. Theyâre in the barn.ââ
My dear, Iâm coming just the same. I didnât
Call you to ask you to invite me home.âââ
He lingered for some word she wouldnât say,
Said it at last himself, âGood-night,â and then,
Getting no answer, closed the telephone.
The three stood in the lamplight round the table
With lowered eyes a moment till he said,
âIâll just see how the horses are.â
âYes, do,â
Both the Coles said together. Mrs. Cole
Added: âYou can judge better after seeing.ââ
I want you here with me, Fred. Leave him here,
Brother Meserve. You know to find your way
Out through the shed.â
âI guess I know my way,
I guess I know where I can find my name
Carved in the shed to tell me who I am
If it donât tell me where I am. I used
To playâââ
âYou tend your horses and come back.
Fred Cole, youâre going to let him!â
âWell, arenât you?
How can you help yourself?â
âI called him Brother.
Why did I call him that?â
âItâs right enough.
Thatâs all you ever heard him called round here.
He seems to have lost off his Christian name.â
âChristian enough I should call that myself.
He took no notice, did he? Well, at least
I didnât use it out of love of him,
The dear knows. I detest the thought of him
With his ten children under ten years old.
I hate his wretched little Racker Sect,
Allâs ever I heard of it, which isnât much.
But thatâs not sayingââLook, Fred Cole, itâs twelve,
Isnât it, now? Heâs been here half an hour.
He says he left the village store at nine.
Three hours to do four milesââa mile an hour
Or not much better. Why, it doesnât seem
As if a man could move that slow and move.
Try to think what he did with all that time.
And three miles more to go!â
âDonât let him go.
Stick to him, Helen. Make him answer you.
That sort of man talks straight on all his life
From the last thing he said himself, stone deaf
To anything anyone else may say.
I should have thought, though, you could make him hear you.â
âWhat is he doing out a night like this?
Why canât he stay at home?â
âHe had to preach.â
âItâs no night to be out.â
âHe may be small,
He may be good, but one thingâs sure, heâs tough.â
âAnd strong of stale tobacco.â
âHeâll pull through.â
âYou only say so. Not another house
Or shelter to put into from this place
To theirs. Iâm going to call his wife again.â
âWait and he may. Letâs see what he will do.
Letâs see if he will think of her again.
But then I doubt heâs thinking of himself
He doesnât look on it as anything.â
âHe shanât goââthere!â
âIt is a night, my dear.â
âOne thing: he didnât drag God into it.â
âHe donât consider it a case for God.â
âYou think so, do you? You donât know the kind.
Heâs getting up a miracle this minute.
Privatelyââto himself, right now, heâs thinking
Heâll make a case of it if he succeeds,
But keep still if he fails.â
âKeep still all over.
Heâll be deadââdead and buried.â
âSuch a trouble!
Not but Iâve every reason not to care
What happens to him if it only takes
Some of the sanctimonious conceit
Out of one of those pious scalawags.â
âNonsense to that! You want to see him safe.â
âYou like the runt.â
âDonât you a little?â
âWell,
I donât like what heâs doing, which is what
You like, and like him for.â
âOh, yes you do.
You like your fun as well as anyone;
Only you women have to put these airs on
To impress men. Youâve got us so ashamed
Of being men we canât look at a good fight
Between two boys and not feel bound to stop it.
Let the man freeze an ear or two, I say.ââ
Heâs here. I leave him all to you. Go in
And save his life.ââAll right, come in, Meserve.
Sit down, sit down. How did you find the horses?â
âFine, fine.â
âAnd ready for some more? My wife here
Says it wonât do. Youâve got to give it up.â
âWonât you to please me? Please! If I say please?
Mr. Meserve, Iâll leave it to your wife.
What did your wife say on the telephone?â
Meserve seemed to heed nothing but the lamp
Or something not far from it on the table.
By straightening out and lifting a forefinger,
He pointed with his hand from where it lay
Like a white crumpled spider on his knee:
âThat leaf there in your open book! It moved
Just then, I thought. Itâs stood erect like that,
There on the table, ever since I came,
Trying to turn itself backward or forward,
Iâve had my eye on it to make out which;
If forward, then itâs with a friendâs impatienceââ
You see I knowââto get you on to things
It wants to see how you will take, if backward
Itâs from regret for something you have passed
And failed to see the good of. Never mind,
Things must expect to come in front of us
A many timesââI donât say just how manyââ
That varies with the thingsââbefore we see them.
One of the lies would make it out that nothing
Ever presents itself before us twice.
Where would we be at last if that were so?
Our very life depends on everythingâs
Recurring till we answer from within.
The thousandth time may prove the charm.ââThat leaf!
It canât turn either way. It needs the windâs help.
But the wind didnât move it if it moved.
It moved itself. The windâs at naught in here.
It couldnât stir so sensitively poised
A thing as that. It couldnât reach the lamp
To get a puff of black smoke from the flame,
Or blow a rumple in the collieâs coat.
You make a little foursquare block of air,
Quiet and light and warm, in spite of all
The illimitable dark and cold and storm,
And by so doing give these three, lamp, dog,
And book-leaf, that keep near you, their repose;
Though for all anyone can tell, repose
May be the thing you havenât, yet you give it.
So false it is that what we havenât we canât give;
So false, that what we always say is true.
Iâll have to turn the leaf if no one else will.
It wonât lie down. Then let it stand. Who cares?â
âI shouldnât want to hurry you, Meserve,
But if youâre goingââSay youâll stay, you know?
But let me raise this curtain on a scene,
And show you how itâs piling up against you.
You see the snow-white through the white of frost?
Ask Helen how far up the sash itâs climbed
Since last we read the gage.â
âIt looks as if
Some pallid thing had squashed its features flat
And its eyes shut with overeagerness
To see what people found so interesting
In one another, and had gone to sleep
Of its own stupid lack of understanding,
Or broken its white neck of mushroom stuff
Short off, and died against the window-pane.â
âBrother Meserve, take care, youâll scare yourself
More than you will us with such nightmare talk.
Itâs you it matters to, because itâs you
Who have to go out into it alone.â
âLet him talk, Helen, and perhaps heâll stay.â
âBefore you drop the curtainââIâm reminded:
You recollect the boy who came out here
To breathe the air one winterââhad a room
Down at the Averysâ? Well, one sunny morning
After a downy storm, he passed our place
And found me banking up the house with snow.
And I was burrowing in deep for warmth,
Piling it well above the window-sills.
The snow against the window caught his eye.
âHey, thatâs a pretty thoughtâââthose were his words.
âSo you can think itâs six feet deep outside,
While you sit warm and read up balanced rations.
You canât get too much winter in the winter.â
Those were his words. And he went home and all
But banked the daylight out of Averyâs windows.
Now you and I would go to no such length.
At the same time you canât deny it makes
It not a mite worse, sitting here, we three,
Playing our fancy, to have the snowline run
So high across the pane outside. There where
There is a sort of tunnel in the frost
More like a tunnel than a holeââway down
At the far end of it you see a stir
And quiver like the frayed edge of the drift
Blown in the wind. I like thatââI like that.
Well, now I leave you, people.â
âCome, Meserve,
We thought you were deciding not to goââ
The ways you found to say the praise of comfort
And being where you are. You want to stay.â
âIâll own itâs cold for such a fall of snow.
This house is frozen brittle, all except
This room you sit in. If you think the wind
Sounds further off, itâs not because itâs dying;
Youâre further under in the snowââthatâs allââ
And feel it less. Hear the soft bombs of dust
It bursts against us at the chimney mouth,
And at the eaves. I like it from inside
More than I shall out in it. But the horses
Are rested and itâs time to say good-night,
And let you get to bed again. Good-night,
Sorry I had to break in on your sleep.â
âLucky for you you did. Lucky for you
You had us for a half-way station
To stop at. If you were the kind of man
Paid heed to women, youâd take my advice
And for your familyâs sake stay where you are.
But what good is my saying it over and over?
Youâve done more than you had a right to think
You could doâânow. You know the risk you take
In going on.â
âOur snow-storms as a rule
Arenât looked on as man-killers, and although
Iâd rather be the beast that sleeps the sleep
Under it all, his door sealed up and lost,
Than the man fighting it to keep above it,
Yet think of the small birds at roost and not
In nests. Shall I be counted less than they are?
Their bulk in water would be frozen rock
In no time out to-night. And yet to-morrow
They will come budding boughs from tree to tree
Flirting their wings and saying Chickadee,
As if not knowing what you meant by the word storm.â
âBut why when no one wants you to go on?
Your wifeââshe doesnât want you to. We donât,
And you yourself donât want to. Who else is there?â
âSave us from being cornered by a woman.
Well, thereâsâââShe told Fred afterward that in
The pause right there, she thought the dreaded word
Was coming, âGod.â But no, he only said
âWell, thereâsââthe storm. That says I must go on.
That wants me as a war might if it came.
Ask any man.â
He threw her that as something
To last her till he got outside the door.
He had Cole with him to the barn to see him off.
When Cole returned he found his wife still standing
Beside the table near the open book,
Not reading it.
âWell, what kind of a man
Do you call that?â she said.
âHe had the gift
Of words, or is it tongues, I ought to say?â
âWas ever such a man for seeing likeness?â
âOr disregarding peopleâs civil questionsââ
What? Weâve found out in one hour more about him
Than we had seeing him pass by in the road
A thousand times. If thatâs the way he preaches!
You didnât think youâd keep him after all.
Oh, Iâm not blaming you. He didnât leave you
Much say in the matter, and Iâm just as glad
Weâre not in for a night of him. No sleep
If he had stayed. The least thing set him going.
Itâs quiet as an empty church without him.â
âBut how much better off are we as it is?
Weâll have to sit here till we know heâs safe.â
âYes, I suppose youâll want to, but I shouldnât.
He knows what he can do, or he wouldnât try.
Get into bed I say, and get some rest.
He wonât come back, and if he telephones,
It wonât be for an hour or two.â
âWell then.
We canât be any help by sitting here
And living his fight through with him, I suppose.â
Cole had been telephoning in the dark.
Mrs. Coleâs voice came from an inner room:
âDid she call you or you call her?â
âShe me.
Youâd better dress: you wonât go back to bed.
We must have been asleep: itâs three and after.â
âHad she been ringing long? Iâll get my wrapper.
I want to speak to her.â
âAll she said was,
He hadnât come and had he really started.â
âShe knew he had, poor thing, two hours ago.â
âHe had the shovel. Heâll have made a fight.â
âWhy did I ever let him leave this house!â
âDonât begin that. You did the best you could
To keep himââthough perhaps you didnât quite
Conceal a wish to see him show the spunk
To disobey you. Much his wifeâll thank you.â
âFred, after all I said! You shanât make out
That it was any way but what it was.
Did she let on by any word she said
She didnât thank me?â
âWhen I told her âGone,â
âWell then,â she said, and âWell thenâââlike a threat.
And then her voice came scraping slow: âOh, you,
Why did you let him goâ?â
âAsked why we let him?
You let me there. Iâll ask her why she let him.
She didnât dare to speak when he was here.
Their numberâsââtwenty-one? The thing wonât work.
Someoneâs receiverâs down. The handle stumbles.
The stubborn thing, the way it jars your arm!
Itâs theirs. Sheâs dropped it from her hand and gone.â
âTry speaking. Say âHelloâ!â
âHello. Hello.â
âWhat do you hear?â
âI hear an empty roomââ
You knowââit sounds that way. And yes, I hearââ
I think I hear a clockââand windows rattling.
No step though. If sheâs there sheâs sitting down.â
âShout, she may hear you.â
âShouting is no good.â
âKeep speaking then.â
âHello. Hello. Hello.
You donât supposeââ? She wouldnât go out doors?â
âIâm half afraid thatâs just what she might do.â
âAnd leave the children?â
âWait and call again.
You canât hear whether she has left the door
Wide open and the windâs blown out the lamp
And the fireâs died and the roomâs dark and cold?â
âOne of two things, either sheâs gone to bed
Or gone out doors.â
âIn which case both are lost.
Do you know what sheâs like? Have you ever met her?
Itâs strange she doesnât want to speak to us.â
âFred, see if you can hear what I hear. Come.â
âA clock maybe.â
âDonât you hear something else?â
âNot talking.â
âNo.â
âWhy, yes, I hearââwhat is it?â
âWhat do you say it is?â
âA babyâs crying!
Frantic it sounds, though muffled and far off.â
âIts mother wouldnât let it cry like that,
Not if sheâs there.â
âWhat do you make of it?â
âThereâs only one thing possible to make,
That is, assumingââthat she has gone out.
Of course she hasnât though.â They both sat down
Helpless. âThereâs nothing we can do till morning.â
âFred, I shanât let you think of going out.â
âHold on.â The double bell began to chirp.
They started up. Fred took the telephone.
âHello, Meserve. Youâre there, then!ââAnd your wife?
Good! Why I askedââshe didnât seem to answer.
He says she went to let him in the barn.ââ
Weâre glad. Oh, say no more about it, man.
Drop in and see us when youâre passing.â
âWell,
She has him then, though what she wants him for
I donât see.â
âPossibly not for herself.
Maybe she only wants him for the children.â
âThe whole to-do seems to have been for nothing.
What spoiled our night was to him just his fun.
What did he come in for?ââTo talk and visit?
Thought heâd just call to tell us it was snowing.
If he thinks he is going to make our house
A halfway coffee house âtwixt town and nowhereââââ
âI thought youâd feel youâd been too much concerned.â
âYou think you havenât been concerned yourself.â
âIf you mean he was inconsiderate
To rout us out to think for him at midnight
And then take our advice no more than nothing,
Why, I agree with you. But letâs forgive him.
Weâve had a share in one night of his life.
Whatâll you bet he ever calls again?â