There was this girl I dug, I thought was cool
She would always say "hello" to me at school
And one day I asked her on a date
Though we never kissed, the evening was great
From then on, I thought she may have dug me too
From the way she'd cheer me up when I seem blue
But as it turned out she was just playing
Emotionally and physically she didn't feel like staying
With me, at all, as more than a friend
And let me tell you when I knew it had come to an end
And after finding out who she really wanted
It left feeling depressed and haunting
And this is the part that I swear is true
I met the one that she dug her name was Betty Sue
And I was left alone like a lonely baboon
Which made me so upset I wrote this tune

[Chorus]
Ahhhhh I can't take this!
Ahhhhh I don't need this!

Yo I like learning
And I like knowledge
And one day I plan to go to college
I try hard for a high GPA
And try to learn new stuff everyday
So I took this course on the SAT
To improve my score exponentially
To learn new methods students work like dogs
And they become the anti-Joe-Bloggs
And eventually I thought I figured out
What getting a perfect score was all about
So I signed up to take the test
And the day before I got plenty of rest
But I was quite let down when halfway through
I found answer question 1 on bubble number 2
And subsequently each answer was wrong
Which made me so upset I wrote this song

As you could've guessed I make CDs
And often promote them with MP3s
Sometimes I'll stick them on a CD-ROM
Or put my newest tracks on mp3.com
And sometimes I will get dropped a line
From people who bump my stuff all the time
Like the day I got this email straight from France
From this guy who wanted to give me a chance
And put out a record with some Lars tracks he heard
He seemed serious, or so I inferred
He said the EP would be five tracks long
And thought that its sales just might be strong
I said "yes of course man, where do I sign?"
He promised to send me a contract in time
But never again did he contact me
Which pissed me off so much I wrote this ditty