[Verse 1]
He's a no-exit G
In the place to be
He goes Stanford University
And since kindergarten he acquired knowledge
And after twelfth grade he went straight to college

Tom's a pop-culture primate with the IQ of a fetus
Social IQ twenty-five, you know that I mean this
Between his DVDs, clogged arteries, and MP3s
He's got this anti-social mental brain disease

And I want to break him out show him the world
Want to get him blazed, want to get him a girl
Want to take him camping down in Ventana
Want to enlighten him like the Dalai Lama

He'd otherwise know the beauty to be seen
Beyond his flat-panel PC LCD screen
But would he care? If I too him by the hand
Planned on a trip to brain expansion land

I don't mean to be a pushy REI creep
But you'll thank me when you're chilling six feet deep
And the worms and the worms crawl out
And the worms play PS/2 on your stout

No doubt what I'm about is helping you
To lively up yourself like Marley would do
And we're picking up more people as we go
Introverted sad humans no internal glow

We've got to keep driving cars out of our way
I've got nascent cargo here on life's highway
As precious as small birds straight out the shell
Check the chorus, the metaphor explains itself well

[Chorus]
Make way for ducklings
Make way for these introverted ducklings
Make way for ducklings
Soon they'll be existentialist heroes
Make way for ducklings
Make way for these introverted ducklings
Make way for ducklings
Soon they'll be existentialist heroes

[Verse 2]
OK, quiz time, now that our trip is done
You all grew socially learned and had fun
Question one: you're in class with a hottie named Sue
And one day she walks in and sits next to you

[Verse 3]
Her shirt says The Sopranos and you dig that show
There might be a connection between you two so
Do you: A. say "hey, I like your shirt"
B. look away outside at the dirt
C. send her an email later that day
With a link to a fansite you think is okay
Or, D. make a joke about HBO's popular uncensored mafia shows
And catch Sue's attention with your cultured wit
Working it like Matt Groening works it
Well the answer is D, obviously
Negative points if you said B or C!

[Verse 4]
Next question lets say you're a dad with two small kids
And you're chilling on vacation like your own family did
And you go to Boston, because it's fun
And you go to the park to walk or run
And then you see some birds walking past
Not too slow or not too fast
Do you: A. say "kids, check it out!
Those are mobile, without a doubt"
Or B. say nothing and be like "whatever
I've seen cooked birds that look better"
Or C. toss the birds some candy or fish
Well the answer D, and D is this:

[Chorus]
Make way for ducklings
Make way for those migrating ducklings
Make way for ducklings
Because now you're an existentialist hero
Make way for ducklings
Make way for those migrating ducklings
Because now you're an existentialist hero

Make way for ducklings
Make way for those migrating ducklings
Make way for ducklings
Because now you're an existentialist hero
Make way for those migrating ducklings
Make way for ducklings
Because now you're an existentialist hero

[Verse 5]
Shouts outs to Tomahawk
Shouts outs to the Moonies
Truck Records is in effect
Shouts out to, you
Thank you for listening to this song