[Verse 1]
[M.C. Frontalot]
My man Lars has got the talent and he flaunts it
And he drops fat hits every one-hundredth concept
The onset of his rapping is blunt
It beats you up in the manner that he’d call post-punk
You know the fans can’t get enough, always holler for more
I think they’re even louder than they were before
The previous encore
Just hope they let him offstage soon;
Vital business in the back where the hoodies are strewn
Come up

[M.C. Lars]
My boy Front is always managing his vocal takes
Playing up his nerd persona, every day he integrates
You want to hear a rap about a game from ‘82?
Good news! MC Frontalot’s got songs for you
Full of rhymes that he drops, pretty hot, make ‘em rock
With the style he concocts: nerdcore hip-hop
Flash light on his head, ‘cause homeboy went and started it
Grabbing your allowances, he knows how to market it

[Hook: M.C. Frontalot and M.C. Lars]
My boy Front is in the tee shirt business
My man Lars is in the tee shirt business
Look at us, we’re in the tee shirt business
I thought we were musicians — what is this?
Frontalot is in the tee shirt business
M.C. Lars is in the tee shirt business
Both of us are in the tee shirt business
I thought we were musicians — what is this?

[Verse 2]
[M.C. Frontalot]
You try to sell music, they look at you funny
Not a transaction that necessitates money
Not with the true cunning of the kids in the know
But you look at them cheering — notice what? They don’t sew
Don’t go to the print shop and silkscreen their own
Yet they’re always needing something to cover the torso
That’s why MC Lars and I provide a product
Sit atop high fashion. Inventory! You got it

[M.C. Lars]
Costume glasses, mouse pads, robot USBs
Captains are we. Of what? Industry!
Rockefeller, Adam Smith, rock a cellar just like this
Rock a crowd of rowdy kids. So, Frontalot, tell me this:
Is it all about the Washingtons or all about the art?
Indie rap, we’re into that, following our hearts
But part of the job — I mean the other part from caring —
Is taking tee shirt money like we’re modern robber barons

[Hook]
MC Lars is in the tee shirt business
MC Front is in the tee shirt business
Look at us we're in the tee shirt business
I thought we were musicians — what is this?
Frontalot is in the tee shirt business
MC Lars is in the tee shirt business
Both of us are in the tee shirt business
I thought we were musicians — what is this?

[Verse 2]
[M.C. Frontalot]
Oh we know every fabric weight, every drop-ship price
Every line-screen density. Designs are precise
[M.C. Lars]
Cotton woven so nice, blind eyes to child labor:
You as the consumer are the lucky money saver
[M.C. Frontalot]
And we savor all your savvy, as it leads you to our wares
Up in the gilded age of geekery, we so sneakily prepared
This foolproof method of making just the shirts you want
With my top hat and my monocle and your money, I abscond
[M.C. Lars]
Horris Records harvesting the forest near your home
For the paper in the liner notes of every disc you own
You should have known that our sweatshirts were pure baby seal
Go ahead and treat yourself. You love the way it feels
[M.C. Frontalot]
The appeals of the audience:
[M.C. Lars]
Get back on stage! Where you at?
[M.C. Frontalot]
By the merch booth, trying to get paid!
Got a hundred people covered
[M.C. Lars]
Though their arms stay bare
[M.C. Frontalot]
The only way
[M.C. Lars]
We get to do it:
[M.C. Frontalot and M.C. Lars]
Check the logos they wear

[Hook: M.C. Frontalot and M.C. Lars]
My man Lars is in the tee shirt business
My boy Front is in the tee shirt business
Look at us, we’re in the tee shirt business
I thought we were musicians, what is this?
M.C. Lars is in the tee shirt business
Frontalot is in the tee shirt business
Both of us are in the tee shirt business
I thought that we were rappers — what is this?