William Shakespeare
Romeo and Juliet Summary
So like the story starts out with Shakespeare giving away the ending. I don't know why he would do that but I know it has something to do with these people called Pyramid and Frisbee. So the next scene starts with all of these butlers biting each others fingers like babies. The Montagoo, Benvoraviolio, arrives to try to stop the finger biting but ends up getting his own finger bit by a Capsulet named Tidbits. Because the butlers are disturbing the citizens of Verona, Prince Escalator arrives to put the finger biting to a stop once and for all by creating a new law stating that any Montagoo or Capsulet who bites a finger shall be brutally slaughtered. In the next scene, Romeo the Bromeo is introduced. Romeo the Bromeo is the son of Lord Montagoo. He is talking to Benvoraviolio about how he has fallen in love with the Super Mario Galaxy character, Rosalina. He's upset that he can't marry her because she is not a real person. Benvoraviolio tells Romeo the Bromeo that there are many fish in the sea and that Peach is much hotter than Rosalina. The next scene shows France asking for Julio's foot in marriage. Julio is the daughter of Lord Capsulet. Lord Capsulet says that his daughter is only 68 and wants her to wait another few years before she can get married. Even though France can't marry Julio just yet, he wants to try to win her heart so Lord Capsulet invited France to his super bowl party on Sunday so he can meet Juliet. Romeo the Bromeo is still talking to Benvoraviolio when they encounter a servant dispatched by Lord Capsulet who is inviting people to the super bowl party. The two see the list of people going as well as the schedule. Benvoraviolio wants Romeo the Bromeo to go to the party to meet a women but the only reason Romeo the Bromeo wants to go to the party is because he sees that they will be playing Super Mario Galaxy 2 when the football game is over. The next scene has Julio talking to her mother and her nurse about marrying France. She says if France has got da booty then she'll marry him. In the next scene, Romeo the Bromeo, Benvoraviolio, and their friend Mercoolio are walking to the Capsulet's super bowl party. When they arrive, Romeo the Bromeo sees Julio from across the room and notices her huge rack. Romeo tells his friends he wants to get with that and goes to meet with Julio. Tidbits recognizes Romeo the Bromeo and wants to kick him out of the party but Lord Capsulet tells him that it would be rude to kick him out before offering him some chicken wings. Romeo the Bromeo soon seduces Julio and takes her into a dark room and they have sex without even knowing each others names. When Lord Capsulet finds this out, he becomes extremely angry. When Benvoraviolio and Mercoolio are leaving the party because they just beat Super Mario Galaxy 2, Romeo the Bromeo goes into the garden to sniff the flowers like the pansy he is. In this scene here is where Julio says those famous lines of Romeo the Bromeo, Romeo the Bromeo, where the fuck far out thou Romeo the Bromeo. Romeo the Bromeo hears of Julio's romantic garbage and spews out his own romantic lines of literal shit. In the next scene, Romeo the Bromeo goes to see Fried Rice Lorehence. Fried Rice Lorehence agrees to marry Romeo the Bromeo to Julio secretly because he believes that it could end the finger biting. The following day, Romeo the Bromeo and Julio got married and plan to make babies later. Enraged at the fact the Romeo the Bromeo had attended the super bowl party, Tidbits challenges him to battle him in Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Romeo the Bromeo refuses to battle because he thinks Brawl is trash and Melee is forever and won't fight him until he agrees to play Melee. Mercoolio decided that he will play Tidbits in Brawl even though he agrees with Romeo that Melee is the superior fighting game. Mercoolio picks Meta Knight like the cheap motherfucker he is while Tidbits picks Falco because he prefers the air. Mercoolio loses due to Tidbits not having any GameCube controllers and forcing him to play with a WiiMote. Romeo the Bromeo challenges Tidbits to a rematch and wombo combos him into oblivion. Because Tidbits is so salty, he tries to stab Romeo the Bromeo but Romeo the Bromeo kills him first. Because of his crime, Romeo the Bromeo gets exiled from Verona and goes to live in Canada but he still plans to make babies with Julio later before leaving. When Julio finds out the Romeo the Bromeo had killed her cousin Tidbits, it makes her real horny. When Romeo shows up she immediately strips down and has Romeo the Bromeo fuck her as hard as he possibly can with Romeo the Bromeo's unnaturally small penis of only three quarters of an inch long. After she made some babies with Romeo the Bromeo, she finds out that her father plans to marry her to France in three days instead of the original two years. Julio doesn't want to marry France because he is fat and ugly. She'd be willing to cheat on Romeo the Bromeo with a better looking guy but France is fugly. Unsure of what to do, she asks her nurse for advice. The Nurse tells Julio that Romeo the Bromeo is a fucking bum and that she should marry France. Julio disagrees and goes to see Fried Rice Lorehence. Fried Rice Lorehence creates an over complicated plan that could never possibly work but Julio decided to go with it. She needs to drink a roofie so that she looks dead but she won't actually be dead. Then after they put her in the Capsulet family tomb, Romeo the Bromeo and Fried Rice Lorehence will come and retrieve her.The day before the wedding, Julio drinks the roofie, appears to be dead, and is put in the tomb. Fried Rice Lorehence's messenger never arrived to Romeo the Bromeo and he only hears that Julio is dead and not actually just sleeping. Romeo the Bromeo buys the poison to kill himseld because he down't want to live in a world where he can't see Julio's amazing breasts. Romeo the Bromeo wants to kill himself next to Julio so he rushes back to Verona. On his way there, he finds France who plays in a game of Super Smash Brothers Melee. Romeo absolutely slaughters him because France doesn't know how to wavedash. When Romeo the Bromeo sees Julio's body, he chugs down the poison like it's Mountain Dew and dies. Julio soon awakes and realizes that Romeo the Bromeo had killed himself so she kills herself like a fucking idiot in an act of love. So now Romeo the Bromeo is dead, Julio is dead, Mercoolio is dead, Tidbits is dead, Mercoolio is dead, and Romeo the Bromeo's mother died somehow. Because of all this shit the Montagoos and the Capsulets decide to put aside their differences and create a new peaceful Verona. They just completely forget about all the dead people and decide that no one should be punished at all.