I took a little pee
I dribbled on the seat
I see no problem
What's the harm
In wiping with my feet?

A sock is just a towel
That is wrapped around your foot
There's nothing wrong with using it
To wipe away your schmutz

Yes there is (Sweetheart, what's this?)
It's obvious (I'm trying to piss)
That is disgusting
I'll have no such thing
You're in trouble
Urine bubbles
Aren't for socking cling

Babe, that's just revolting
And when will you ever learn
That walking 'round in urine
Will just fill the place with germs? (Achoo!)

Wait a minute (Yes, what is it?)
Take it back (And why is that?)
You've gone and blown a snotty sneeze
Right into both your hands
That's fifteen times as germy
But I get your reprimand?

But this was just an accident
While yours was lame and gross
You're filling up this house with nasty
Residues the most

But sweetheart, that'll never matter
Not one single ounce
That's good advice
This place is nice
But it's not even our house

We're just robbing the place

(Ha-ha! Suck it, homeowners!)
(I got a bunch of pee on the floor, too)
(Good!)