[Verse 1]
I was the driver for the drive-by of the neighbor's dog
Dad had always hated him and he said, "Come on, son
Get into the Vega now and I'll go get my shotgun"

[Verse 2]
It was a military holiday and kids were everywhere
I hid behind the steering wheel and tried to disappear
I tried to speak but couldn't, Dad was whistling and drinking beer

[Chorus 1]
And I prayed, "Dear God, if you save this dog
I will never get high, I will never jack off
I will do all the things that I should but have not
I'll be a good boy from now on"

[Verse 3]
We turned around the corner soon and saw the neighbor's yard
Dad lit up a cigarette and rolled his window down
And grinning like an idiot he stuck his head and body out

[Chorus 1]

[Bridge]
Well, he popped in a shell, took aim with the gun
Then a flash and a bang and the dog it was gone
He jumped up and he ran away
Dad had shot right through his chain

[Verse 4]
Dad said, "Take me to the Dairy Freeze, I want to have a shake"
We sipped them on the benches there and stared out on the lake
And Dad has never said another word about that day

[Chorus 2]
And I hope you're not disappointed, God
Cause I still get high and I still jack off
And you knew I was lying, but you still saved that dog
You're such a good God (good God)
Yeah, such a good, good God (good God)
You're such a good goddamned backwards dog
And I'll be a good boy from now on