[Verse 1]
Benny was the bouncer at the Palais de Dance
He'd slash your granny's face up given half a chance
He'd sell you back the pieces, all for less than half a quid
He thought he was the meanest until he met with Savage Sid

[Verse 2]
Now, Sidney was a greaser with some nasty roots
He poured a pint of Guinness over Benny's boots
Benny looked at Sidney, Sidney stared right back in his eye
Sidney chose a switchblade and Benny got a cold meat pie

[Chorus]
Oh! What a terrible sight
Much to the people's delight, one hell of a fight!

[Instrumental Break]
[Piano Solo]

[Bridge]
Sidney grabbed an 'atchet, buried it in Benny's head
The people gasped as he bled, the end of a Ted?

[Verse 3]
Well, they dragged him from the wreckage of the Palais in bits
And they tried to stick together all the bits that would fit
But some of him was missing and part of him arrived too late
So now he works for Jesus as the bouncer at St. Peter's Gate