Stephen Lynch
For the Ladies
I kissed you on the cheek, "Goodnight my love" I say
You turned to me and smiled "A baby's on the way"
And then you drift asleep to dream of life anew
And I lie wondering just what I should I do...

I could kick you in the stomach and catch you unawares
I could swear to god you accidentally fell that flight of stairs
When I tell you that I love you I will look you in the eye
As I slowly slide the hanger up your thigh...