[Hook: Sufjan Stevens & Busdriver]
Ding-a-ling-a-ling (yeah, yeah)
Ding-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-a-ling-a-ring-a-ling
Christmas time
Ding-a-ling-a-ling (oh, god)
Ding-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-a-ling-a-ring-a-ling
Yeah, I'm up for a cup of egg nog
And we got a pocket full of bullets
Real talk
(Merry something!)

[Verse 1: Busdriver]
It’s about that time of the year to sit on an unforgettable lap
Lash your ass [?] my sexual act
Now my quips [?] involves dipping right-wingers in a chemical vat
Santa read my miserable scratch, let me pull diamonds from your intestinal track
Ah (I) am heading to mega ball, head like a tetherball, [?] Kris Kringle (what?)
But everybody looking for the motherfucking Lego with a [?]
When I found out [?] armoured truck
Crystals, wine and drug busts
[?] mall security got rid of Santa due to budget cuts
Man, enough's enough
I mean you can't put a price on a Jesus [?]
Nor the Genie, I’m eating spaghetti not tortolini
Because I [?] with numbers
My [?] all black [?] and orange beenie
What sort of meanie would bring a box cutter to my Christmas
[Hook: Sufjan Stevens & Busdriver]
Ding-a-ling-a-ling (come on)
Ding-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-a-ling-a-ring-a-ling
I mean, how the fuck will they get rid of Christmas due to budget cuts
And how can a mall fire the actual Santa, you know what I'm saying
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Ding-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-a-ling-a-ring-a-ling
I tell ya, it didn't go over well
It was nothing but melee, you know what I mean
They still had Christmas, but he fired Santa
Let me tell you how it went

[Verse 2: Busdriver]
Bloodlust replaced holiday cheer (cheer)
[?]
A glass of [?], frappuccinos made from milk, reindeer and sort of pastor people
Cashier's flashing ghoulish grins
Hellions [?] sin
After all rise and falsify, you're all tired of rewrapping gifts from the dustbin
(What about the Clauses)
[?] Santa's workshop to Papua New Guinea
Sold Elves via human trafficking
And Mrs. Claus she busting new titties
As it maligns [?] couple, and the tabloid
[?] black void
[?] television
Ride into Hell's kitchen
Now they're [?] more than Mel Gibson
[Hook: Sufjan Stevens & Busdriver]
Ding-a-ling-a-ling (uh!)
Ding-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-a-ling-a-ring-a-ling
Man, and the Clauses have to vilify for this shit
They’re not the one’s that made Christmas suck
You know, it wasn't them
Ding-a-ling-a-ling (they just work there)
Ding-a-ling (they work at Christmas)
Ding-a-ling-a-ling (which is a building)
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-a-ling-a-ring-a-ling (you know what I mean)
Anyway, you can’t just get rid of Christmas
It's like a war, it's a billion dollar industry
So, check out how it went

[Verse 3: Busdriver & Sufjan Stevens]
All many malls became wild dust bowls
Because everybody wanted Santa back
[?] uphold this vanishing act
We need our [?] for our most optimal winter to stay in business
For the second egonomic vigor
The bottomline saved Christmas (ding, ding)
Come on say it bitches
The bottomline saved Christmas (ding, ding)
Come on say it bitches
The bottomline saved Christmas (ding)
Yeah, the bottomline saved Christmas
[?] abysses
The bottomline saved Christmas (ding, ding)
Whatever (ding, ding)
[Hook: Sufjan Stevens]
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Ding-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-a-ling-a-ring-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Ding-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-a-ling-a-ring-a-ling