Wallahi, this is all true, it’s all true still

Aight look, so a big part of my life has been chicks and
No I can’t lie about that
And if I keep it real and I wouldn’t thought I’d have to write again about that
See word, I was still in love when I wrote slut
Just words them Scars weren’t closed up
But since it gave me exposure, it’s only right I tell you my closure
Slut, man I was so real to the page
So real to the extent that man I even used real names
Cherise, she texted me once on a mad ting
Tara kinda treats me like a German
And the girl that did the monkey bar ting, but well she’s just doing her
Man Listen not the same one that my last freestyle was about
Got love from west to the south
Thought I was over the girl till I saw her out
And family I was all shocked
Cos Ive thinking about this girl like every day and every way
So ofcourse we speak and numbers exchange
And Now I’m happy as fuck
Cos now I’m back with the love of my life
Doing all kind of shit, like kissing on Northolt hill was 10oclock that night
A good guy now I ain’t hitting wherever
Even catch .......... spitting together
U know when the kiss is perfect, come like puzzle pieces fitting together
That’s when I told her wait tho, if were doing then we gotta do this right
Ima tell you all the shit that I’ve been on
The last couple years, the shit you won’t like
But ima be honest now, I’ma be real to the tee
I gotta make sure that some next girl can never come to you about me
And that’s when I started talking
Man I told her all the girls that I beat
All the problems with me and the one night stands
And the girls that I met on IG
But when it was her turn
She said there wasn’t a dream I could sell you and really my life’s been boring and they ain’t nothing to tell you
And man I believed her, maybe I was naive
But gassed at the girl I was thinking about for the last 4 years was by me
But that feeling weren’t gone away
And her mum even took us on a holiday
And now I’m deep in the nine ..... easing shit, couple months then I even got the keys to the crib
Then I got distant tho, cos I got that iffy vibe like
I be catching her out to them silly lies like if your my woman why do I have to catch you out
And this dumb shit, like the shit you ain’t even gotta lie about
And this is when I turned into a fuckboy
Man I can’t lie Man i just wasn’t with it
Even tho I still love her mad
..... with my spirit
Never called her beautiful once
No attention, her time I had none of it
The most I would do was pull up on a late night random one if I felt like cuddling
That’s when I got that phone call tho
You know how it goes like, ‘like Blaine, there’s something you should know, I just took a pregnancy test and look man it came back positive and I can’t have an abortion’
Looks like we just gotta get on with it and me I can’t lie how I acted
It was all news when I started backtracking
When I heard the word baby, I just panicked and asked her again are you sure you want to have it
She said the doctors told her before that she can’t have a baby
So the thought of having an abortion and nor not having a yute is all crazy
And now look see when a baby ain't planned
There’s some stages you go thru as a man
The first stage is nah she ain’t having this yute I gotta talk to ...
And the second stage is look man I gotta man up cos I’m gonna be a father
Pulled up over and I still told my mother, I’m thinking that she’s gonna get mad at me
All she said was ‘Blaine do not bring a mad girl in my family’
Told my sister but she wasn’t having it
And right now I’m excited but anyways fuck that part
It’s the second part that hit me like lightening
I got a phone call out of the blue like Blaine where you at, can you come around
I said now, she said now so I said fuck it and I drove from south
Blew until I Pulled up to the crib, got in the lift, put the key through the door
And all I can see is her there, with her arms around her belly on the floor
I’m like yo baby tell me whats wrong on
She says I bled and my belly keeps hurting
I keep phoning the ambulance over and over again but this shit ain’t working
They pull up in what seems like forever
Me, I’m shocked I don’t know what this means
We get to the hospital and take her bloods
Holding her hands waiting to be seen
And then some young white lady stepped in
She clears her throat and looks up slow and says your no longer pregnant
And it kinda hit me in the worst way cah it happened like 3 days before my birthday
Now me and her are back on track
But I can’t lie I’m real sure I ain’t giving it
Cos I’ve got this feeling saying that I can’t trust and I can’t get rid of it
Man I gotta talk to her, ima see her next week and that’s when I’ll talk to her
I picked her up so I could drop her airport
I said I’m tired so she can drive and
I’m just there in the passenger seat and
I’m looking at her square in her eyes and
I say what I’m about to say man I ain’t tryna cuss you
I really wanna make this work but I feel like I can’t trust you
And look I don’t know what it is but I got a feeling so deep in my ribs
Months ago you was gonna have my kid
But now I feel like the solution is to let me have a look in your phone
It might sound dumb and it might sound young but let me have a look in your phone
Don’t get it twisted I’m grown, but let me have a look in your phone
If I don’t see nothing, I’ll stop bugging and we’ll get to trusting, we’ll build something
You’ll probably be cussing like I told you there was nothing in my phone
And word in my life I’ll let that go
But let me have a look in your phone
And then She said no and I said ‘word’
I swear you want me to take you serious
And word that’s what I’m tryna do so you gotta have respect how I‘m tryna move
5 years deep, you’ll let that go just to not let me look in your phone
She looked back with a woman in scared face and then she said no
Look You see that kinda iffy, man I let that go so quickly
Still went to the airport just to let her off and then I put my key right thru the letterbox
Look what was in her phone, I would never know
But 9 times out of 10, there was the maddest tings in her phone
Now I get a phone call 2 days later
She’s like Hi, I’m like waddup?
She’s like now you can look through my phone
I’m like ........ shut up
3 months after I’m in shoreditch and I see her cousin
And she pulls me to the side, like I want to talk to you about something
And I’m like calm, we can step out of the bar and me and you can go speak in the car
She’s like I don’t talk to my cousin no more man she takes things kinda far
And I’m like wait there what you wanna say to me and she goes
Umm Shit I don’t know how to say this but I don’t really wanna say no dirt
But when you was with her uh
She was chatting to a couple man and there was this guy from work and
When She was having his kid she showed up to my crib cah
She wasn’t sure like if it was yours or his and I said wait there how do you know
And she said on my daughters life I know
And I’m only telling you because I don’t speak to her anymore now
I couldn’t care less about the‭ cheating
But the child shit hit me harder
Man I got excited and told my mum
And man I might have not been that father
But I guess I didn’t know that lady after the miscarriage shit got crazy
She look back like miscarriage what
And I said yeah she miscarriaged my baby
She said wait there Blaine are you sure
I said I saw her on the floor, we both went to the hospital and they said the child weren’t there anymore
And she said when this happen around end of feb
I said yeah how do you know
She said fuck man this girl is .......
I said wait what do you mean
She said on my daughters life I’m talking
Around the middle of February, I told her to get an abortion
See gyal are fucked like that
Yeah man fuck up, but man fuck ups ain't fucked like that
Are you even clocking the play, so the miscarriage and her being on the floor was all staged
And then they ask why Mans so bitter and man turn into your average n***a
Saying how you can’t trust these women, trust rudeboy man it can’t get realer
But if I learnt one thing out of this whole thing, you gotta go with your gut
But you ain’t gotta take my advice, I’m just Cadet aka the Slut