The High & Mighty
Hands On Experience
[Mr. Eon]
Girls, girls, girls, girls
My right hand I adore
Spankin on my sheets till I can't c*m no more
I'm on a five-a-day plan, then I'm switchin hands
Not really carin where my sticky white lands
I'm half-asleep, you calm me Captain Kleenex
Cuz I be c*mmin on quilts until my d**k wilts
Then I'm in the shower, Jergens and Vaseline-a
Right named Palmer, left hand Wristina
Like the Artifacts, I Come On wit the c*m on
Might j*rkin work, lookin up too many skirts
I nut on puffs after I huff the dutch
The ten pack pocket tissue comes in the clutch
So put on the Kristy-Kenya video
That's four nuts a day, and one more to go

[El-P]
Check check check check
Dear Sir
I have been an avid reader of your magazine for many years now
But up until today I haven't had an experience as really worthy of this column
The solo jux avidly have to repeat
I felt weak, felt like we were havin sex for a week
I wanna spark the bottle, wack it but I don't have a sheet
So inevitably I pull out of the pocket
Just for an example that I'm huggin up a plug wit no socket
Now how soundly she slept while I fume
Vexed about the fact I couldn't nut off
Pent up, balls blue, painful
I know that when woke she's disdainful
Time to come up wit Plan D for Desparation
Pulled out the love monkey and shot off to the t**ties' location
At least in that direction
Upon further inspection, she awoke splashed in the head section
Shook by the goblety goods
"Think-I-think I gotta" [Q-Tip] *cut and scratched*
"Just beat it" "J*rkin your jimmy but you still can't come off" [Phife]
"I thought I had it in the palm of my hand"
"Just give me the pu**y and I'll be straight
If you don't, f**k it I'll masturbate" [Eazy E]

[Mr. Eon] *rapping in kiddy voice*
All day I like to stroke it, then I poke it
And be like ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh, are you alive little man
Got Hands On Experience cuz I j*rk alot
Exotic hand creams that's what I got
And a p***o collection about the size of Jada Sulton
When I purchase movies, it's usually out in Fulton
Then I take it home and spank it, and wipe it with a napkin
Yo I love to j*rk like ? love to hack
And maybe it's a must like a kitty cat's purr
I've been known to f**k my girl than j*rk off next to her
Keep it real, yo yo Bob stop stop j*rkin and come do your lyrics

[Bobbito]
I go solo wit my hand so you can call me Han Solo
Slap my skins, so they call me Bobby Bongos
Auto-matic, just for my peepee
Hit a vital nerve, lick her t**s, curve
Jergens Dry, no lotion for my hand motion
Don't cry, dry your eye
Here's a towel, my hands move like constipated bowels
I shoot extra far if a girl talks foul
Choke my chicken, slap my w***er
A girl lets me watch her with her t**s out while I'm spankin
Then I'll thank her, ah check it out
I'm harder than the hardest artist hard can get
KBL in the place, workin a sweat
Doin beats strokin off until the Twinkie gush
Until they amputate my hands I won't sweat the puss
Unless she wants to, then I'll worry about gettin, the monster
So I'd rather avoid the unwanted pregnancy
The headaches of an emotional attachment
I live my own fantasy world where anything goes
Besides the longer I go without sex
The closer bobbin my boloney comes to feelin like the real thing
Think twice about walkin barefoot on my bedroom floor
Yo Mi, hit me up wit a magazine
I'm goin to bed man, I'm out