[Intro]
Put that booger back in your nose
Turn around and walk away
The I-troll-you sign in America says
"I want you for the U.S. Army"
Some prisoners when they're in the shower
Their butt crack is showing (Ew)
And Nathan Boutell says
"This is my favorite series, keep it going" (Thanks, buddy)
I had a gerbil and his name was Gerbil
Unfortunately, he died
And Mohammed Sharmeel loves my vids
And guess what? He subscribed

[Chorus]
I cringed, Dan
He's got incredible butt cheeks, Dan
If Dan had a kid, he'd call him Pug Man
What's wrong with your eyes? Are you alright, Dan?
Am I gonna regret this?

[Verse 1]
Dan's secret ability: he can scare himself with a door
Dan, your forehead is beautiful
Your channel was better when you did Minecraft
Dan put tape on his hair, now, he's gonna regret that
Maybe you could marry a bully
Gordon Ramsay has left the chat
[Chorus]
I cringed, Dan
He's got incredible butt cheeks, Dan
If Dan had a kid, he'd call him Pug Man
What's wrong with your eyes? Are you alright, Dan?

[Bridge]
Roses are red, violets are blue
Dan is the best and so are you
Dan, you short (Uh, okay)
Your secret is safe with me
The whole time I was thinking, "Just get some laxatives"
There should be a song about his chair, fantastic
This is clickbait, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead
Wait, Dan… why are your eyes so red?
Holy potato, only Filipinos understand
Only OGs remember when Dan broke his hand
Mommy, I'm confused… aah
And yes, child, so am I
Please don't tell me you're a robot
Who's watching this vid wearing no socks?
How do you headshot a banana?
Press this if you're 9 or older
Dude, the character smacking his butt at the end
Somehow made my day
Dan, Danny, Big Dee
Look at all this sadness and pee
[Chorus]
I cringed, Dan
He's got incredible butt cheeks, Dan
If Dan had a kid, he'd call it Pug Man
What's wrong with your eyes? Are you alright, Dan?
I cringed, Dan