[Refrain: Caleb Hyles]
I can do this, somehow I know it
I'll get Heaven behind my plans
There's just no way I could blow it
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance
To change their mind and touch their hearts
Or whatever angels have
Cheer up, Vaggie
This could be swell
Something tells me that today will be a happy day in Hell

[Verse 1: Caleb Hyles]
There's a warm, fuzzy feeling that wafts through the air
Every street so revealing, it's hard not to stare
It's a realm so appealing, it beats anywhere
If you don't mind the smell
It's a happy day in Hell

[Verse 2: Jonathan Young]
Thеre's an endless trash firе that's burning my soul
Got a ton of barbed wire to shove in his hole
Doing what is required, we all have our role
I'm not doin' well
Another shitty day in Hell

[Bridge: Caleb Hyles & Jonathan Young]
If I can show them the dream I've dreamed
That any soul can change
('Cause angels' minds are hard to change)
Then they will know everyone can be redeemed
From the evil to the strange
(They're bloodthirsty and deranged)
[Verse 3: Caleb Hyles]
I can hear all their stories, the lost and displaced
And I know that they're more of an acquired taste
But if I open the door and I give them a place
At my Hazbin Hotel
It'll be a happy day in Hell

[Break: Caleb Hyles]
Ha!

[Verse 4: Caleb Hyles]
From the porn studio, where the cinephiles go
To watch award-winning demon bukkake shows
To the Cannibal Town, where they don't wear a frown
Because— oh my goodness, that's in every crevice
And I don't give a crow that his brains got in my eye
'Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's genocide

[Refrain: Caleb Hyles & Jonathan Young]
I can do this, I just know it
(There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul)
I'll get Heaven behind my plans
There's just no way I could blow it
(Got a ton of barbed wire to shove in my hole)
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance
To change their minds—
And touch my parts
Uh, no, thank you, I'm just gonna go
Fulfill my destiny (Your loss, bitch)
I can already tell
Today's a really really really happy day in Hell!