[Snippet: DJ Khaled]
Congratulations, you played yourself

[Intro]
Damn
Yo, you wanna know what happened to me last Saturday?
Shit, you ever heard of Ms. Cutie Booty?
Shit, you don't want to
I mean you do, but you don't
Let me tell you all about it
Look, look

[Verse 1]
Just let me clown for a little while
Half of what you bout to hear is a freestyle
Like an illusionist, a duplicate zone, cause you can't tell the difference from the rhymes on my phone and the ones in the dome
I'm all alone, but it feels good, I should've known
Tell mama Ima have to get another loan
That's the last time I pay for a bottle service
But maybe not, cause by Friday God knows that we deserve it
I was crossed when I crossed upon a pretty face
Ass out of this world, I was staring into space
Long locks flowing all the way down her waist
And you gave it all away to that dude? What a waste
Wait, I remember seeing you in the gym
With more make-up on than actual skin
Your squats let me know that it wasn't manufactured
Broke my damn neck, I had to call a chiropractor
Gullible dudes thinking that money isn't a factor
Her purse back at home, and she's still getting plastered
You gotta speak money for peak honeys, right
That's why all my week's money getting spent in one night
I gotta represent, break bread yeah my flow is heaven sent
Four hours in the bathroom, like "I ain't ready yet"
Female robbery, reminds me of the lottery
If you wanna win her chances, then you gotta give her shots for free
But honestly, all she'll prolly give you is a dance
Get Jim Carried away, thinking that we have a chance
To get all up in her pants, dumb for so long
Ask for her number, she prolly wrote it down wrong, right?
I'm running free, now I'm fucking frequent
I just got up out the drought, thirst is my weakness
Make a dude say things, and text things, we can't control the sex swings, I just want you bouncing on my bed springs
Now, the last thing I wanna do is seem desperate
But, I heard she give the head that make a dude head split
Get this, bout twenty minutes till twelve
She came right up to our section introducing herself, like "heyy"

[Yes dude, the same chick from the other night, you remember right the one with the long hair? Broo, I wasn't drunk enough the other night so my bitch ass never went up to her, but bro...when we go back out there you'll see, she's all up on my shit now, I don't know how! Out of nowhere she went up to me and was all like:]

(You look familiar, but I just can't remember
I think I might've matched with you on tinder)
I ain't even have one, but I know how to swipe right
I'll say anything just to lay the pipe, right?
Got a couple friends? Ima hit you with the invite
VIP at another bar, it ain't even midnight
(Lemme check up with my girls, but I'm down)
We both got our numbers, I said "let me know when you're around"
Now, next bar, forty minutes in
I start to think she really put the wrong digits in
I'm stressing over a text G, why would she even tempt me
Go through all that trouble just to reject me
Shit, my cups empty, no wonder why my minds full, now I act a fool cause I just took like nine pulls
Stumbling to the bathroom, empty my leak
When I got a text asking if we had VIP
It was her, OMG, she's coming with two friends
The table isn't mine, but I'm sure we'll make amends
Cause there's way too many men, I'm tryna improve the ratio
Along with my chances of fellatio, I'm crazy yo
Soon as I leave the stall, you know that I'm mad y'all
Cause I'm looking at my boy get thrown like a rag doll
Right out of the bar, they saying he got stuck
Cause he started talking shit about the girl he used to fuck
While her current man overheard, damn that was fadeful
Especially since he's the one who payed for the table
And that guy was the only one my boy knew
And he gave him a black eye, so I don't think I'm getting through
Should I leave? My friends are finna cap and go home
Either stay for the bone, or she'll never hit your phone up
Or maybe I should own up, tell her what really happened
But she never would've came if it wasn't for your braggin'
Shit, I gotta think, look who's walking through the door
It's Ms. Cutie Booty and her two groupie hoes
I went up to her while her friends were with somebody else
And bought us a bunch of shots once I got her to myself
I flirt, she thinks I'm funny, but now I'm out of money
I'm thinkin if we keep on drinkin I could pull this honey
She hit the bathroom, I tried to get my spot back
Soon as the dude sees me he tells me that I should walk back
I almost talked back, but I ain't got the time to scrap
Cause I'm too busy finding ways to get this girl up on my lap
And damn I'm getting desperate, I'm bout to say fuck it
I saw a couple geese chilling in the bucket
I said fuck it, grabbed it by the neck, then I tucked it
And snuck it out of the table, Cutie booty said she loved it
Killed half of the bottle, I'm killing it with a model
I still have dreams about the way she made it wobble
On my jeans, damn, you gon make me get the uber
(Wait hold up, gimme a sec. Alright.) I just got the uber
She turned around on me, and I thought that I was set
Till somebody took the goose from me and punched me in the head
I ducked down before he tried to hit me again
Turn around, it's the same dude that wouldn't let me in
He tryna get shook with these hands like they Maracas
The dude was so wasted he threw the bottle of vodka
Smashed all on the wall, thank god he couldn't aim
But before he could retaliate, security came
Two giants grabbed him by the legs, on his shoulders through the crowd
Threw him out, told his ass next time you're not allowed
Now, last call ten minutes left
It's either now or never if I'm bout to pull another theft
Now I'm looking now I'm looking for my lady
She read my text and ain't reply I'm going crazy
Two rum and cokes, I used my last Lincoln
But damn I'm so close that I could taste it while I'm drinking
As soon as I see her, I think I'm bout to get laid
'Fore her ex showed up next to her and told me "Boy you got played"

[Outro]
And the fucking uber's here
I'm bout to just...
Wait hold up, is that?..