[Chorus x2]
Don't look at Jules
Don't talk to Jules
Don't smell Jules
Don't say anything, anything concerning Julie

[Verse 1]
Lonely like a wild week after a tough loss
We were down by two but the field goal got blocked
Worse Kevin Butler, Maury Buford was a good punter
Me and Jules would go to Platville at the end of every summer
Denis Andriana first to get Julie a nice number
Rolls her dogs out with relish, onions, and cucumber
Unorthodox, she has NFC Central socks
The winter of '87 was when the question got popped
So when Jules leaves, it's lonely like lost keys
Or when Hawk Dawson got traded because of weak knees
I know it's a short trip, like John Cangelosi's legs
But it's still lonely like an empty O'Doul's keg
One time I went to Jules to get Jules KOOLs
When I came back to big Joe's, Eddie was on my stool
I said, "what are you doin? Get away from my wife
Thinking your Scott Baio, you still live in Ford Heights"

[Chorus x3]

[Verse 2]
I saw Barry Sanders at Ed Debevics in '91
It was me, Julie, and Jessie, that's Curtis and Maurine's son
When Jerry Ball blocked the kick Wayne Fontes started crying
For some reason in my heart a special place for the Lions
Barry Sanders, I bet that guy could be a great dancer
Trying to tackle number 20 is like trying to catch a damn panther
Leave Jules for me, leave you for you
Just bought Crossroads on laser disk and Jules some new wrestlin' shoes
She's my wife she doesn't make for you your pork 'n' beans
You don't go to Wisconsin Dells with her every spring
You didn't take a picture of her and Ditka with The Stache
You don't buy her size medium Zubaz with your cash

Don't look at Jules
Don't talk to Jules
Don't smell Jules
O'Doul's longnecks like Willie McGee

I think I'm ice cold in multiples of two or three
Short like Joey Cora or John Cangelosi's dad
I saw them both at this big sale that Venture had
It was right when weedwhackers were first introduced to lawn care
I bought one of those and a tin trash can, Bears
Also a Shop-Vac attachment so I can clean the stairs
Also a couple patches to repair tire tears
See my Fiero? It has seen better days
Got a flat out there on the west side where Curtis stays
Pick up a bag of Ruffles and corn chip Frito Lays
My Julie
She doesn't buy for you your KOOLs
You don't go to Jules to get her Ultra King KOOLs
So why the hell are you sittin' on my stool?
Why the hell are you tryin' look all cool around Jules?

[Chorus x4]

[Fade out]