(Hannah): Looking down from Heaven, I see my flat carcass (Rhett and Link): In front of 7/11.

(Hannah): Wish I could say it was the first time, but I'm a cat. (Rhett and Link): So in terms of life, she's had nine.

(Hannah): The first time I died, as I remember, I landed on my feet.
(Rhett and Link): But, it was into a blender.

(Hannah): My next life, my Fancy Feast cans had somethin' in them. That really fancy thing,
(Rhett and Link) was botulism.

(Hannah): Lived life three, easy, nappin' on some jeans. The problem was the jeans
(Rhett and Link): were in a washing machine.

(All): Don't feel sorry for me. I've had nine times the lives you could ever dream.

(Rhett and Link): Life four
(Hannah): I became a pillow on Pinterest.
(Rhett and Link): Life five
(Hannah): I died from shear disinterest.
(Rhett and Link): Life six
(Hannah): I had the urge to feel lava on my whiskers.
(Rhett and Link): Life seven
(Hannah): Chased a bird into a wood chipper.
(Rhett and Link): Life eight
(Hannah): Donated my guts for tennis rackets.
{Spoken} But, it turns out they don't even use cat guts!
Can you put that in brackets?
(Rhett and Link): We'll add it in post!

(All): I hope this song wasn't a drag, but I just had to let the cat out of the bag!

{Spoken}
Link: Well, technically they're putting you IN a bag.
Hannah: What?
Link: Yeah, I think that's like, a sanitary worker.
Hannah: Is that what they- do they?

Rhett: Yeah, that's what they do for a living, they clean up. (Roadkill)
Hannah: Wait, what makes you guys cat experts?
Rhett: Well this is cat heaven. Welcome.
Hannah: Oh.
Link: We're dead cats. We welcome others.
Hannah: Oh
Rhett With a song.
Link: New arrivals.
Hannah: Wow, you guys really put life on 'paws.'