Emperor Aguila
The Hip Hop Police Scandal (Skit)
Chat:

*phone picks up*
Police Chief Rick Ross: Hello. This is Police Chief Rick Ross from the Hip Hop Police Station. How may I help you? What is it? Murder? Theft? Dickriding to the extreme?
EmperorAguila1: What’s up? I’m here to report a very serious crime. A user on Rap Genius thinks he has more swag than EmperorAguila!
Police Chief Rick Ross: We’ll be right on it, homie! Just stay on the top of your game, and don’t lose flow. What’s his name?
EmperorAguila1: I’m not quite sure, my brotha. I’ll have to get back to you on that
Police Chief Rick Ross: Alright, you have a good day, dawg
*ends phone call*
*phone picks up*
EmperorAguila: What’s up man?
EmperorAguila1: Bro, I have some major news. A user on Rap Genius thinks he’s better than you
EmperorAguila: What the fuck? What is this lame-ass’ name?
EmperorAguila1: His name is YouTuber123, and I’m pretty sure this guy actually likes Hopsin...
EmperorAguila: *laughs* I’m laughin’ my ass off here. You know where he lives? Let’s report him to the cops
EmperorAguila1: I’m pretty sure he lives on 8 Mile
EmperorAguila: Aight! Let’s go get ‘em!
Time Card: 20 Minutes Later…
XX/\/\E: AY BOYS COME AND GET THIS motherfucker
Police Chief Rick Ross: “LETS ROLL!”
XX/\/\E: “FAT motherfucker YOU GONNA ROLL DOWN THIS HILL”
*sirens wail*
YouTuber123: What the hell is this?
EmperorAguila: Don’t act like you don’t already know
Time Card: Two hours later…
YouTuber123: Why am I here?
XX/\/\E: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK motherfucker
YouTuber123: How am I supposed to know?
XX/\/\E: An external source said that you said you were better then EmperorAguila motherfucker. HOW COULD YOU motherfucker!? His mixtape “July” is a classic! Plus, you rap as well as Wayne plays the guitar…
YouTuber123: But...but...but…
XX/\/\E: But WHAT motherfucker?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?
YouTuber123: I only said that his “Cheesin’ Remix” was lame and that Translucent renegaded him on “Happy Birthday Yeezy!”
EmperorAguila: Bruh...I hate that remix now. I made it when I didn’t know how to rap. Plus, I ghostwrote that bridge for him
YouTuber123: Nah…
XX/\/\E: Lock this motherfucker up!
Time Card: A few bad puns later
*at the jail walking past cells*
*whistling*
XX/\/\E: A lot of rapping motherfuckers frequently end up here. Some of them include Lil Wayne, Gucci Mane, and former Police Chief Keef
*walks by his cell*
Ken Kaniff: Why hello stranger. We’re gonna have some fun, aren’t we?
*rapping a parody of Rap God*
I’m begining to feel like a rape god, rape god
All of my inmates are forced to blow hard, blow hard
Now who thinks their mouth’s wide enough to be a porn star, porn star?
YouTuber123: NO!!!