More than a catbird hates a cat
Or a criminal hates a clue
Or the Axis hates the United States
That's how much I love you

I love you more than a duck can swim
And more than a grapefruit squirts
I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore
And more than a toothache hurts

As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea
Or a juggler hates a shove
As a hostess detests unexpected guests
That's how much you I love

I love you more than a wasp can sting
And more than the subway jerks
I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch
And more than a hangnail irks

I swear to you by the stars above
And below, if such there be
As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes
That's how you're love by me