A guy dressed up in a Stormtrooper outfit takes out a lunch box and thermos bottle

Wife: Gary, where is Jessica? Isn't today "Take Your Daughter to Work Day"?

Gary: (sighs) No one actually does that.

Wife: Gary, you promised. (walks away; the camera slowly zooms in on the motionless Gary)

At a Rebel Alliance ship; a group of Stormtroopers blast down a door and begin a blaster-fight with some guards

Gary: Keep your head down, Jessica!

Jessica: Okay, daddy! (Gary takes his daughter's hand and runs to cover; Jessica squeals and accidentally drops her teddy bear into the line of fire) Mr. Fuzzybottom!

Gary: (stops Jessica from running into the line of fire, then puts his head down in frustration and sighs calmly; carefully walks into the line of fire to get Mr. Fuzzybottom back, dodging an array of red-toned lasers getting fired in his direction; groans) AHHH! (makes his way back to Jessica on his hands and knees, panting heavily) Here you go, baby.

Darth Vader: Who is this little girl?

Gary: Oh! Vader! Uh... it's "Take Your Daughter to Work Day", and I know, uh... you know, I'm sorry for bringing her, but my wife says I never see her, and... and let's be honest, she's right! Okay? She's right! (silence) ...Do you have kids? Cause, I mean, heh, they change your world. ...Oh, I'm probably gonna get fired for this... but (stands proud) (bleep) it. (takes his daughter's hand and says sternly) I love my daughter.

Darth Vader: (silence; leans in and thumps his chest with his fist) That really hits me where I live. (grabs a rebel guard by the neck and lifts him up) What have you done with those plans?! Gary here, never sees his daughter because of people like you! (brief pause; bone snaps; realizes what he's done and covers his mouth innocently) I'm so sorry you had to see that. (drops the body; leans in) Are you having fun, being at work with your father?

Jessica: Mmm... (hides head behind Gary)

Darth Vader: (chuckles; wiggles around a little) I know, I'm scary.

Scene change to Tatooine

Ben Kenobi: (controlling Gary with Jedi mind trick) These aren't the droids you're looking for.

Gary: These aren't the droids we're looking for.

Jessica: Yes, they are!

Ben Kenobi: Move along.

Gary: Move along. (Ben Kenobi rides away)

Jessica: Daddy, you're not even trying!

Gary: Baby, it's 165º degrees on this planet! I can't hear in this thing! (referring to his helmet) I was just repeating what I thought the guy was sayin'! It's not like it's my own mother[bleep]ing thought on the matter, okay?! (Jessica runs away, sobbing) Hon! Aww-- baby! (runs after)

Stormtrooper: See? That's why I don't take my daughter to jack (bleep)!