Witness
The Girl Song
I know the math when I handle the mic
And these Pythagorean theorists think their angles are right?
They might be keeping it vivid, speaking over the beats per minute
But they're still the dictionary definition of what genius isn't
I'm making music just to open up your ears for once
And maybe get famous and get a date with Kirsten Dunst
No scratch that
I'd rather date that girl from Amelie
Cause honestly? She's French
And that's really fucking hot to me
This ain't misogyny
There won't be no apologies
I'm probably the Socrates of operating properly
No need to call the cops on me
Call me an oddity
But now that she's 18? That girl from Harry Potter?
Please
And not to make a mockery, but listen Miss Tequila
I'd rather shoot myself than have a shot at love with Tila
Pop divas ain't my thing, but if I had to pick?
I'd probably go with Mandy Moore
That chick is on some classic shit
Angelina Jolie: Highly over rated
Even though I rented "Gia" just to see her naked
I wish Claire Danes made a dirty movie
And I'd like that chick from Mythbusters teach some rocket science to me
But honestly, these are just a couple references
I've never been a sexist, I was raised by a feminist
Man, I penned a list and then I signed it under "Witness"
That's a half a dozen women I would take on a picnic
I came a long way from my days in the Quaker State
Moved to Minneapolis to find my Patti Mayonnaise
I got charisma that your weak libido lacks
Your girl's Sailor Moon? I'm Tuxedo Mask, bitch
Someday I'll prove it when I'm dating Jenny Lewis
Dude, I'd marry Katy Perry but she makes some very shitty music
I wanna french kiss Zooey Deschanel
Go to third base, disappear like I'm Dave Chappelle
Cause when I'm on, I know I'm on, I make it known
I highly recommend you leave your girlfriend at home
And if I'm ever famous getting props at shows
I would still tell the world Megan Fox is gross
I wanna eat Fiona's Apple on Caribbean isles
Let her get up in my drawers like a Gideon Bible
I'd listen to her heartbeat, help her find her car keys
And live every week like it's motherfucking Shark Week.I know the math when I handle the mic
And these Pythagorean theorists think their angles are right?
They might be keeping it vivid, speaking over the beats per minute
But they're still the dictionary definition of what genius isn't
I'm making music just to open up your ears for once
And maybe get famous and get a date with Kirsten Dunst
No scratch that
I'd rather date that girl from Amelie
Cause honestly? She's French
And that's really fucking hot to me
This ain't misogyny
There won't be no apologies
I'm probably the Socrates of operating properly
No need to call the cops on me
Call me an oddity
But now that she's 18? That girl from Harry Potter?
Please
And not to make a mockery, but listen Miss Tequila
I'd rather shoot myself than have a shot at love with Tila
Pop divas ain't my thing, but if I had to pick?
I'd probably go with Mandy Moore
That chick is on some classic shit
Angelina Jolie: Highly over rated
Even though I rented "Gia" just to see her naked
I wish Claire Danes made a dirty movie
And I'd like that chick from Mythbusters teach some rocket science to me
But honestly, these are just a couple references
I've never been a sexist, I was raised by a feminist
Man, I penned a list and then I signed it under "Witness"
That's a half a dozen women I would take on a picnic
I came a long way from my days in the Quaker State
Moved to Minneapolis to find my Patti Mayonnaise
I got charisma that your weak libido lacks
Your girl's Sailor Moon? I'm Tuxedo Mask, bitch
Someday I'll prove it when I'm dating Jenny Lewis
Dude, I'd marry Katy Perry but she makes some very shitty music
I wanna french kiss Zooey Deschanel
Go to third base, disappear like I'm Dave Chappelle
Cause when I'm on, I know I'm on, I make it known
I highly recommend you leave your girlfriend at home
And if I'm ever famous getting props at shows
I would still tell the world Megan Fox is gross
I wanna eat Fiona's Apple on Caribbean isles
Let her get up in my drawers like a Gideon Bible
I'd listen to her heartbeat, help her find her car keys
And live every week like it's motherfucking Shark Week