[Dialogue: Phone-EG and Big Squidward]
(Numbers dialing, phone ringing)
— Wake up, this fucking wasteman, n'yeah…
— Hello?
— Yo, yo, Phone-E?
— Hmmm…
— Yo, Phone-E, get up, dawg! Wake up!
— I'm up, man, I'm up (sucks teeth)
— Yo, Phone-E, wake up, dawg! Seen?
— Squid, I'm up
— Yo, wake the fuck up, dude, you're fucking lazy, G!
— Yo, I'm up! I'm up!
— Yo, yo, you listenin'?
— Mmm…
— Yo, Phone-E, wake up, dawgs!
— (Angrily) Yo, Squid, what the fuck? I'm up, bro!
— Alright, seen? Take it in. Yo, there's a lickle jam poppin' off in Brampton, seen? In the B-town, in the Jim Archdekin Recreation Centre, seen? A lickle party room, seen? Mad bitches, mad liqs, mad everyting, G. We're going through
— Jim Archdekin, eh?
— N'yeah…
— I don't, I don't even have anyting to wear, bro–
— What do you mean, G? Wh'you mean you don't have no clothes to wear, fam?
— I, (exhales)
— Go– go get some, then, you have money?
— No, bro, I'm broke!
— Yo, fam, come fresh to the fucking jam, seen? Figure it out
— Jim Archdekin, eh?
— You dun know
(Big Squidward hangs up)

[Outro: Phone-EG]
— Fuck, man, this just has me…fucking stressed, dawg, bare tings– yo, I need to play some fucking music in my mind right…
(Inserting cassette, dancehall music playing)
— Jam's 'bout to be poppin', Jim Archdekin, dawg? Ho-ly…but I'm not gonna rope NO tings with my fucking gear, dawg. I’m wearing Mecca, bro, like (sucks teeth)… tings stopped wearing Mecca in, like, grade 8, fam. I need– I need some Tommy. I need that grown-man swagger, dawg, I have to go– I have to go rob me a yute, dawg. Yo, fuck it, dawg. Let me go deal with this…
(Gun cocks)