EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
DR. SEUSS!
Versus!
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE!
BEGIN!

[Shakespeare]
Come bite my thumb!
I hope you know the stakes
I'll put a slug between your shoulder blades
Then ask what light through yonder poser breaks?
I hath been iambic on that ass ye bastard
My rhymes are classic
Your crap is drafted by a kindergartner high on acid
Ye hoebag
You're an old white Soulja Boy who has no swag
And no gonads, egads it's so sad
And to top it off you're not a doctor
I've never seen a softer author
You crook, you
I bet you wrote the Twilight books too!

[Dr. Seuss/Cat In The Hat]
I would not could not on a boat
Read any of the boring ass plays you wrote
Even Horton doesn't want to go hear you
And Cindy Lou Who is afraid to go near you
You bore people to death
You leave a classroom looking like the end of MacBeth
I entertain a child of any age
You gotta translate what you said on the opposite page
How you gonna battle with the Cat in The Hat?
Little kids get scared when I step on the mat
You think your ruffled neck ass gonna rap to that?
I gotta best selling book about me coming back!