Dory Previn
The Obscene Phone Call
Hello hello

Is this the P.E.D.?

Well i just got

An obscene call

He threatened my life

With a boy scout knife

And a bad invitation to ball

But officer please

Put me at ease

Would you repeat what you just said?

There ain't nothin' that you

Can begin to do

Not until i can prove

I'm dead?

Hello, oh hi

Is this the F.B.I.?

Got at obscene call

On the phone

He threatened my life

With a boy scout knife

And i'm scared 'cause i'm all alone

What d'you mean

You're on the scene

You are watching me all the time

You go binoculars trained

On my window pain

Just in case i commit

A crime?

Hello, oh hey

Is this the C.I.A.?

Well this call came

An hour ago

And the F.B.I

Thinks that i'm a spy

And you say you already know

Cause you got a bug

In my navajo rug

And my telephone's tapped

Of course

Well who permitted this game

Oh the orders came

They all came from

A higher source?

Hello station to station

United nations?

Someone called before

And it was real obscene

Would you intervene?

Oh you're too busy

Ending the war

Well treaties and pacts

Those are big time acts

Ending war takes guts and gall

But did you ever explore

What begins a war?

It begins with

An obscene call!

Hello G.O.D

Hello this is me

Listen god there's this call

That i got

And i've tried them all

Tried the big and small

I called the

Whole inoperative lot

I tried the F.B.I

And the C.I.A

And the keepers of

The country clean

What do you mean

You're inclined to find

This call of mine obscene?

But we've been traced

We've been spaced

We've been human erased

We've been mugged

We've been bugged

We've been detected

We've been...

Hello god?

God?

We've been

Disconnected!