I'm just a lonesome traveler, The Great Historical Bum
Highly educated from history I have come
I built the Rock of Ages, 'twas in the Year of One
And that was about the biggest thing that man had ever done

I worked in the Garden of Eden, that was the year of two
Joined the apple pickers union, I always paid my due;
I'm the man that signed the contract to raise the rising sun
And that was about the biggest thing that man had ever done

I was straw boss on the Pyramids, the Tower of Babel, too;
I opened up the ocean let the migrant children through
I fought a million battles and I never lost a one
And that was about the biggest thing that man had ever done

I beat the daring Roman, I beat the daring Turk
Defeated Nero's army with thirty minutes work
I fought the greatest leaders and I licked them everyone
And that was about the biggest thing that man had ever done

I stopped old Caesar's Romans, and I stopped the Kubla Khan;
I took but half an hour's work to beat the Pharaoh's bands;
I knocked old Kaiser Bill flat, then I dumped the bloody Huns
And that's about the biggest thing that man has ever done

I was in the Revolution when we set the country free;
Me and a couple of Indians that dumped the Boston tea;
We won the battle at Valley Forge, the battle of Bully Run;
And that was about the biggest thing that man has ever done