Bacchus Paine
Cunnilingus Done Right: Part 4
Where Should Your Tongue Do It?

Now that we’ve gone through how to decode your particular lady, how to move your tongue, and where to put your head (figuratively speaking) while you do it, it’s time for your final lesson, a lesson that answers that age-old question - where should I lick(/suck/purr/etc)?

It’s also the perfect time to remind you that you have, if you are staring down a pussy, direct access to the best resource about where your target areas should be: your lady friend. In fact, if you ask her to tell you what she likes, you’ll get better tips than I can offer you in the abstract, and you will ALSO score a shitload of points that you can redeem for enthusiastic blow jobs, etc. down the road. Say the following at any time during your sexeractions:

“What do you like touched?”
“Do you want me to go faster? Slower?”
“Tell me what you want me to do.”

That’s a good start. Some women will be too shy to answer fur realz, and you’ll have to figure the answer out for yourself. OR, more likely, you will try one of the techniques in this "poem" and she, having never experienced such a thing before, will have had no idea it would drive her wild. Once I’ve gone down on a girl, I do generally ask her what she wants me to do going forward. The answer I always get is “whatever you were doing before,” which suggests that I introduced her to something new - just like you will!

The Secret Clitoris

I wrote a bit in part 1 about discovery, and I’m hoping you took that chance to discover the full scope of your lady friend’s clitoris. In case you didn’t, I want to talk a bit about what you might find when you do your exploration right.

Some women have what I’ll call an “Isolated Bulb Clitoris” - a true button whose innards are deep enough innard that your tongue has no real hope of reaching them, or even having its pressure register on them. Usually, an Isolated Bulb Clitoris will appear physically distinct from the inner labia and seem to sit wholly above them (with her lying on her back). If you’re facing this kind of clitoris, you probably do want to stick with the base-mission scheme described in Part 3.

If you see one of the following types of anatomy, however, try shifting your focus a bit:

1. Inner labia and clitoris are hard to distinguish. That is, not because you’re a dumbshit, but because they are actually connected with robust, erect tissue. This often indicates a more-external lower clitoris - one where your tongue can access the part of the clitoris that’s unreachable on most women.

2. Inner labia are far from one another and clitoris appears to extend between them. This is something you should be able to feel when you’re following the dartboard to its bullseye: the bulb of the clitoris doesn’t descend into the body before it contacts the inner labia. Instead, it seems to extend to the entrance of the vagina, and the inner labia connect at the sides. If you’re facing this, congratulations, you’ve just received a cunnilingus gift! This means that the connection between her clit and her g-spot is mostly external (this is somewhat rare, in my experience), and you have WAY more canvas to work with than the average Joe. In some cases, this means the g-spot is literally right inside the vaginal opening - and therefore totally accessible with your tongue.

In either case, you’re going to get more reaction from a couple of moves than you generally would. Think about licking/sucking the full length of the clit, as long as that may be, vaginal opening to the meeting point of the outer labia. If the extended clitoris connects inside the vaginal opening to tissue that feels bulbous or wrinkly under the tongue, THAT is her g-spot. You might be able to make her come just tongue-fucking her in these cases (though I’d hope, as my students, you’d take pride in being a bit more creative). In women with the Isolated Bulb Clitoris, the g-spot in 1-4 inches up the vaginal cavity and you have to have serious tongue reach to get to it. Oh, and note that some women actually don’t have a g-spot, so if you’re feeling around and no particular spot seems to have a huge effect, don’ bust your ass trying to find it. Venture inside and lick around to see if she moans excessively. If she does, you may have a g-spot within reach. if not, there's plenty of other material to work with.

Use the tongue tricks we discussed in Part 3 on the full length of the clit and inside to the g-spot. In other words, elongate that Star of David you’re drawing to fit the clit you’re facing. If you’re maintaining suction and you lick this kind of pussy from the inside up to the upper clitoris bulb… well… it fucking works. Try it.

The other possibility raised by this sort of anatomy is an alternating orgasm scheme. What’s this? This is where you make her come by stimulating mostly the upper clit, then make her come a second time by tongue-fucking her with almost no intermission. It’s variation within variation, where your bullseye point shifts. And it gets rave reviews.

Just FYI, the more times she comes from you eating her, the more quickly and intensely she will usually come from you penetrating her. You’re doing yourself a favor, because no matter how long you want to take to blow your load, the increased frequency of orgasm persists for her. In case you were under a rock until now, women can come many, many times in a session. Trust me: if you make her come twice with your mouth and then she comes multiple times while you’re fucking her, well… she’s going to be pretty dedicated to you. WARNING: Deploy this much game with caution; it’s gotten me a stalker or two.

The…Ahem…Other Areas

Remember the dartboard we used in Part 1? Here are some parts you might have found to be effective during that little exploratory exercise, other than the obvious external clitoris:

1. The Asshole. I’m gonna be real with you right now: I won’t go there, certainly not with my mouth. That’s a matter of personal taste. But, if you’re into it, receiving is often a different matter, and it drives some women wild. Be careful, though, because it makes other women VERY uncomfortable. If you want to try it, use your fingertips (externally) briefly while you explore and see how she reacts. I’d recommend testing this out AFTER you’ve made her come harder than a runaway eighteen-wheeler, though, with pussy-stimulation alone. this way, if she's not into it, it won't blow things with her.

2. The Choad. This is, blissfully, a cleaner target. Licking it or applying pressure with your tongue won’t bring her to orgasm, I’m quite sure. However, it might provide a pleasurable tickle for a change-of-pace moment.

3. The Outer Labia. There’s a lot more to do here if she shaves or waxes. Again, some women don’t want anything done there. Others shiver when you give a little suck to a shaved labia, or lick the length of it. I find the outer labia most useful between her orgasms, as something to play with during her refractory period. Best when combined with light kissing along the crease of the thighs during this refractory period or as you’re teasing her for a warm-up.

4. The Lower Stomach. This is what you’d call a “FUPR” if it were fat. Remember what I said about clitorii extending internally in various directions, depending on the lady? Well, some women have a mass of clitoral tissue lurking just inside their pelvic bones. Massaging pressure (not so much licking) here may be a nice touch on some women because it stimulates this internal tissue.

5. Inner Ass Cheeks. This is an area that generally responds well to pressure, kneading, massaging. Licking will be less effective, since the nerves you wanna hit are deeper inside the body. Basically, massaging these muscles appears to trigger two desirable physiological responses.

First, it tricks her ass muscles into believing they’re bucking, which is an involuntary orgasmic response. In other words, those muscles are connected to the part of her brain that feel an orgasm. Touching them helps activate that part of the brain, and that's helpful - though it’s unlikely to generate an orgasm on its own.

Second, it stimulates the internal portion of the clitoris. Sort of the equivalent of someone rubbing your prostate. So rub it. And click this for a tip on how to use this when you’re fingering or fucking her.

6. Inner Labia. Like I said, these are mostly ancillary to your task, but there are a few cases where I’ve found some stimulation to be helpful and effective. When you’re warming her up, light, teasing passes over the inner labia can help get her lady boner going. You might even try a quick, light suck. Just don’t expect the same kind of reaction to these caresses as you get from a good hard lick of the clit proper.

7. Vaginal Tunnel. This is the one you think you knew about already, but you probably knew all the wrong stuff. Women who are stimulated by vaginal activity alone are a true minority, despite what Freud misinformed Americans of for years. I generally don’t finger a woman unless I’m doing something else, as well, and I don’t keep it up if it doesn’t have an immediate effect on her. In my experience, men think that because they just pump in and out with their penis, that’s the motion they should imitate with their hands or mouth. WRONG. JUST WRONG. ALL of the following will generally work better than that:

• Come Hither. This is a classic, but to perform it insert finger or tongue comfortably (don’t push or reach for this) inside the vaginal tunnel and move like you’re gesturing “come here” to someone in a library. With your tongue, this is sort of like you’re taking your fully extended tongue and moving it up to touch your nose (but the pussy gets in the way).

• Circle Round. With your tongue or finger, trace the front-facing wall of the vaginal cavity from side to side. You should feel a sort of ridge akin to a hot dog lying across the front wall of the cavity. Run your tongue/finger over the surface of this hot dog (I know, the irony is killing me too), burrowing (gently) into the crevice on either side before you go back. That hot dog is a direct line to the inner clitoris. By rubbing it this way, you’re massaging the clit from the inside...

• Knobbing. If you reach far enough up the vaginal tunnel, you’ll find a certain knob. I’m honestly not sure whether this is a g-spot in some women or what the fuck it’s connected to. I doubt it’s a g-spot because the aforementioned exposed-long clitoris ladies appear to have a knob farther in as well. It’s fur realz a piece of tissue slightly more prominent and dense than the surrounding tissue, like a - you guessed it - knob. If you can reach it, rub it and see what I’m talking about. I’ve never gotten there with my tongue, and usually have to have my fingers buried pretty deep to reach it.

Keep a special feel out for tissue that feels wrinkled or like it has tiny bulbs on it - in my experience that’s a bundle of nerves you can target, wherever you may find it. And, as always, mix up your motions!

Think, as with the external parts of her sex, about starting with gentle motions that gradually increase in intensity. Start with teasing licks, easy and soft; move up to rapid strokes. BUT don’t ever increase your intensity so much that YOU can’t feel exactly what you’re doing - that often means she’s numb to it as well.

At Last

To conclude, I want to talk a bit about real vs. fake orgasms and how YOU can tell the difference.

Unfortunately, the first thing to note is that it’s really hard to tell the difference. Bitches can hella act. Some noises are distinct and almost involuntary, BUT women DO generally know to fake their O noises, and most of them will also fake vaginal contractions. While vaginal contractions would otherwise be the clear indicator to look for, any woman who’s done a Kegel exercise can fool your penis-wielding ass that way.

Luckily, you can look for basic involuntary responses to clue you into whether she’s bullshitting you. Not all women have all of these, so that they aren’t happening doesn’t necessarily mean her orgasm is fake. However, the more of these you see, the more likely she really is coming. Do her toes curl? Does her back arch? Do her hips buck? Do her stomach muscles tighten and release quickly? Does she grab the sheets, pillow, etc and keep it in a death grip? Does her head jerk back? Most women don’t think to fake such elements, and if you see them or others when she has verifiably orgasmed, you can look for them going forward.

If you do think she’s bullshitting you, for the love of god, don’t get mad. TALK to her. Her holdup, if you’re doing all the shit I’m telling you to do, is probably NOT about physical stimulation. It’s more likely about trust and comfort. Talking to her about what she likes/wants more of/wants less of not only improves your technique, it puts her in a mental spot to come.

Okay, so what’s this book I keep talking about? Going out and learning all these pussy tricks I’ve shared with you costs money, bitches. It took a lot of gin to get where I am today. I’m asking for a donation to the collective knowledge base, which I will keep updating here on Rap Genius should I get the funds to do so. As a thank you for your donation, you will get a piece of intellectual porn featuring all kinds of sexual partnerings, and some first looks at the sexing done between women most guys can’t fathom (but that’s been happening long enough to be painted on the walls of ancient Roman baths). Of course, as promised, if I hit the 20,000 copy mark on No Church in the Wild, I’ll publish the deets on how that… ahem… goes down.

Finally, a disclaimer: in order to break this oft-emotional and instinctual process down, I've done a certain amount of objectifying. This is not meant to encourage the objectification of women in general, but rather to help guide others on how to approach an individual female with respect and enthusiasm. So, even as you read generalized tips, I'm over here wishing you find someone who excites you so much that you don't have to think about what I've written here anymore and you can feel your way through a very enjoyable process, as I do now :)

Thanks for reading - please share widely!
@bacchuspaine