WestPublicNorthside. Moving back

Moving back, losing track all the time that I have had making everything feel empty and ruthless, useless feelings when I was younger, man you could’ve compared me with a mentally instituted child, because I was always wild and crazy but dumb and lazy and acting out. Mom me and you had a good thing going for fifteen straight years, why isn’t the counselor even trying to contact me and you, I get it he’s busy but were important too so many years of anger, rage, not knowing things making me feel stupid in class and everywhere else because being bullied wasn’t fun, made me at certain points of my life wanna kill people or myself that was when shit just begun, seeing my mom and dad fight changed my point of view on life instead giving everyone what they want I want became stronger because I never really had no father around, those weekends were good between me and you when I was like five or six but then after that it all fell flat and you decided dad that you like fat, a woman with her cats, two kids and doesn’t give a shit about anything but having, fun, drinking, fucking, smoking, losing her mind because of that son that she lost long ago I was alone most of the time with them playing games just kept me sane because inside my brain all I had to go off of was pure motherfucking pain
My train of thought was always on that moment when I was three and letting it go has always been a problem for me even when I saw another counselor to handle my anger and explain it all alongside my past it didn’t help I lied to his face because he didn’t know nothing not to mention mom didn’t have much money, it was really crummy, so funny right, because causing pain to someone else is hilarious and that is why I was always so split between friends, family, and random ass people I didn’t know wanting to get in my life, I would be like fuck you, what the hell you know about me I don’t know nor should I because your point of view doesn’t matter to me until you understand where the fuck I’m coming from with the mind of a three year old in a 17 year olds body