Why do lovers park down deserted lanes
Near haunted houses or homes for the insane
Like the deformed son who was locked in a shed
Later escaped when he chopped off their heads

Why do axe murderers only attack
When you're partially n*** or you're taking a bath
Though there are times I feel softer than most
Some days like yogurt and some days like toast

Sorority girls and fraternity boys
Always deflowered, they're rich and they're spoiled
So we never feel bad when Aunt Jenny, who's dead
Surprises them lying on her wedding bed

When we're making love now, I feel so exposed
Might you impale me or turn into those
Creatures that feed on the flesh of the living
They hide in the corn between June and Thanksgiving

Why do axe murderers only attack
When we're making love
Why do axe murderers only attack
When you're partially n*** or taking a bath