On my way to buy some ketchup I'm feeling pretty good
Gonna take it all right on home and then I'll cover all my food
Ketchup is my favourite sauce it is the condiment of kings
Ketchup you're so useful you taste great on many things
You can use it on a burger or spaghetti bolognese
You can use it to clean your ears or even wash your face
On pizza pasta chops, or cookies as a main or on the side
Hair gel salad dressing or to grease a slip-and-slice
It's good for steak a cake a coffee break roast hake
A pasta bake if you drink some in the morning
It'll make you feel awake on a fries shish kebab
On bacon crab or toast you can fry it steam it
Boil it bake it use it on a roast
On meats beets cheese wheat sweets, and treats
And with a little chili for a touch of extra heat
It's not just there for you to eat
When dried it works like concrete
To shine your boots, on veg on fruits
To clean your shirts your socks your suits
To lubricate a creaky door to clean your teeth
To clean a floor to paint a painting you have painted
Revive old ladies who fainted to give your quiche a little lift
An unexpected Christmas gift it's always guaranteed
To make an awesome fake nose bleed
But my favourite use for ketchup's not on fries or roasted hog
Where I love ketchup most is on a big juicy hot do..
[Reprise]
Finally got rid of that annoying Hot Dog Guy
And now I'm in the store so there is no reason why
He can interrupt my day so I'll tell you all what's up
It's time for me to buy myself a bottle of ketch..