A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #


"How May I Help You?"

This is a story bout
A little man named Rod
Who did not have a mind of his own
Just went along with his pathetic lonely life

Even when he went to school
The teacher said "jump!"
And he jumped and he jumped and he jumped
Then he fell on the floor

Never let his feelings out
Didn't have any friends
Once he left school he hoped
This would
All change now
It was not to be
The world for him to see
Oh, mercy!


He had to get a job
Wanted to go somewhere to relax for a while
He went to work on a boat as a cabin boy...

"Get on you knees and scrub the decks
I want to see you sweating. Make sure you're
In my quarters around half past ten this evening..."

He didn't like this one bit
He got to get another job
So he jumped off the boat
And swam to shore
To work on the beach in a bar

He met a chick working there
Just like him
Not too pretty
Not too pretty
She was sad & lonely just like him

They went to the cinema together and then
Went back to his room, back to his room
Made sweet loving to each others only friend
Only friend

The night after he walked out of his room
Heard a voice shout...

Go pick the dead rats outta the drain!!"

First day
But it's OK
From then, talks to Rodney like sh*t all day

But Rod, doesn't do anything, just keeps it in

He thinks: 'f*ck it! I just put up with this sh*t
I got a girl and a friend, I don't need nothing else'

"How are you doing, my good man?
(As Rodney gazes at Miranda)
I see you got good taste
Miranda is nice girl, very nice girl..."

"What's that supposed to mean?
You trying say something, say it!
Very friendly girl? Very friendly girl?
What's that supposed to mean...?"

Where does he go from here?
What's going on?

"Miranda your girl?"
"Yeah, what of it?"
"She very good expressing her affection for her friends
She my girl, your girl, everbody's girl..."

"So you're saying that you and all the
Other people that have come into this here
Bar have been with her?
But no one's come in for days
Apart from a couple of p*ss-heads..."

"She had lovely tight cheeks!"

"Not after I saw to her"

Rod was furious
Rod said to Miranda...

"How could you do this to me?"
"Well, once I was with you my whole life changed!"
"So you got the confidence to disgrace yourself?"
"No longer do I want to be a slave!"
"What? What did you say?!"
Asked Miranda would she say sorry...
"You're weird, stay away from me!"

Then he put some Laxatives into their tea...

And he was on his own again...

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

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